Keep Your Eyes On This Corruption
by surskitty
Summary: Neku's heading off for college, Joshua's trying to cope with the .5 of his 1.5 friends moving away, and Beat and Shiki are trying to get their lives together. Shit happens, but things have a way of working out, with effort and a bit of luck. Plus or minus a few undead job offers. (JoshNeku, NekuBeat, mostly gen)
1. Neku Sets the Stage

_Originally posted on AO3; updated every few days. Total chapter count is 26.  
_

* * *

Neku loves Beat and Rhyme like his own family, which is good, because somebody has to. Shiki's his friend, too, but when it comes to the day-to-day, they're from different worlds and it shows. Beat just needed to make one comment about their parents getting on his case about entrance exams for Neku to suggest they have him over for dinner, and the look on Beat's face made his heart hurt.

And Neku doesn't _regret_ that offer, but one step into the Bitou place and … yeah, it's bad. Neku'd brought a nice cake and dressed up for prissy adults' standards and it's still bad, Rhyme sticking next to Beat as they do introductions so Neku has a chance of making a good impression.

God, at least Neku _knows_ his parents don't give a shit; this thing where nothing Beat does will ever be good enough and Rhyme isn't allowed to fail gives him a _headache_ and it's not even about him. He can't imagine dealing with this shit on a regular basis.

`I can't help but think I made the right decision after all,` his phone reads. Joshua, of course, because even when something has nothing to do with him, he just can't keep his nose out of it.

`Don't spy, asshole,` Neku texts back furiously. Beat's looking at him, a bit worried, but Neku just tosses him a shrug. Nothing to worry about. `I didnt even ask you.`

Dinner is … bearable, Neku changing the subject back to himself whenever it sounds like the Bitou parents are going to start in on one of them, and even if he feels like this is too little, too late, at least it's _something_. They quiz Neku on his cram school prep, because of course they do, but even with the backhanded jabs at 'Daisukenojo's lack of motivation', Neku gets the feeling this is still less painful than usual. Fucking hell.

By the time they finally escape, it's all Neku can do to keep from bursting out laughing, from stress if nothing else.

"I think they honestly think I'm going to be a businessman," Neku says, and Beat snickers.

"You and me both, dude. You and me both."

Rhyme grins, and it's the first honest one he's seen since he got there. "I don't know," she chirps. "I think you both look rather dashing."

"Yeah," Beat says, nodding along, "and we're gonna dash right on out of here." They cackle and share a high five. Man, Neku could sure use a sibling some days.

Rhyme sobers a little and looks up at Neku, face kind enough that he's tempted to ruffle her hair. "So what are your _real_ plans?" she asks. "I think we all know you're not really trying to get into Toudai."

"And thank god for that," Neku says with feeling. Ugh, that's not even worth thinking about. "I just applied to get my family off my back; I'm headed to art school, baby!" He coughs. That sounded less cool than he thought it would. "Uh, that's the plan, anyway."

"Tokyo?" Beat checks. Neku nods. "Figured; couldn't see you going far from home."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Neku growls, and Beat pulls him into a tackle-hug. Freaking - and the guy's _still_ built like an athlete (wow, what a shock there) and, uh, actually, once Neku gets his breath back, it's kind of nice. Uh.

This would be less awkward if Rhyme wasn't there, Neku realises, flushing, and Beat must've had the same thought because he backs away and stares at the ceiling. It's not like they haven't experimented before, but, uh -

Rhyme clears her throat.

They all spend a good few seconds finding something _very interesting_ on the wall, and pretty much the only thing that could make this worse would be Joshua texting Neku right about now. One, two, and - speak of the devil and he … actually doesn't butt in this time. Okay. Neku will take what he can get.

A buzz, and Neku nearly drops his phone like it's on fire. `That's what he said,` texts Joshua, helpfully.

"Will that asshole _butt out_ ," Neku growls, and Beat and Rhyme stare at him. "Uh. Joshua."

"Joshua?" Rhyme echoes, and Neku winces. He'd managed to not end up explaining the whole … Joshua … thing to her, and isn't that excited by the prospect of breaking his record.

"Some reaper Neku knows," Beat mutters to her, just loud enough for Neku to hear. "Not really a _bad_ guy, just … fucking weird."

Well, that's not _quite_ it, but it'll do. "Yeah, something like that," Neku says, making a face.

"He say anything to you?" Beat checks, serious, and Neku shakes his head quickly. Not like Beat could really do anything if he _had_ , but you know.

Neku holds the phone up, and Beat squints at it before raising an eyebrow. "He's just being a jerk," Neku says, a bit defensive, and Beat nods.

Joshua probably _is_ just messing with him, but the knowledge that he could be scanning him at any point sinks in his gut like a stone. It's not _new_ , but it's unpleasant all the same. No use dwelling on it right now, though, and he shoves it out of mind. For now, at least.

Once the adult Bitous leave them alone, hanging out at their place is actually pretty nice, and Neku almost regrets not visiting them earlier. Almost. It's not like them hanging out after school is a new thing or anything, but it's … different, when you can have them at either your place or theirs. It doesn't seem like a _real_ friendship before then, and even if neither of them have the sort of families where home is really _home_ … it's still different.

* * *

By the time Neku heads back, he's completely fucking exhausted. Thank fuck for overtime, that's for sure; last thing he wants to hear is incredulity that he'd have any legit reasons to be out at night. Not that they even think to check if he's there, half the time, but _still_.

Please god may Tokyo University of the Arts accept him. He's not sure what else he would _do_ ; it's not like he has that many other options.

Oh, for fuck's sake, Joshua, _why_ always the texting. Neku doesn't even need to give him a custom ringtone: he can just guess based on timing and nearly always be right. `Calm down. You have plenty,` Neku reads, and _his opinion was not wanted!_ `Geidai is outside my dominion, but if you absolutely insist, I can call in a few favors.`

"Stop hiding," Neku says, voice flat as he flops down onto his bed. The last thing he needs after a long day is -

\- a knock on his door. Of course. "May I come in?" Joshua says, and Neku'd bet money that no one else'd be able to tell he's there. Right now, Neku wouldn't mind being less special.

"Might as well," Neku says, defeated.

Joshua silently opens it, bowing slightly as he walks in and sits daintily on the edge of his bed. Neku glowers at him, as much on principle as anything else. "You're aware you don't really need a degree, yes?" he says, getting right to the point.

"I don't want people to only care about my work because I'm friends with you," Neku states. "Or with Mr H." He won't judge anyone else who uses their connections - sometimes, that's the only way to get a break - but that's not what he wants.

Joshua snorts. "No need to worry about that," he says primly. Neku rolls his eyes. "You're quite good, if unpolished. All of you are," and despite everything, it doesn't ring as empty flattery. Maybe it should, but it doesn't. "All I offer is a foot in the door."

"More like a foot in the grave," Neku grumbles, and Joshua has the audacity to look innocent. Like he _hasn't_ shot Neku multiple times, and isn't probably thinking of it right now. Joshua keeps staring at him, though, until Neku finally looks away. "Look, just …" Neku says, trailing off. He mostly wanted to break the silence. "Stay out of my head, Josh."

Joshua hums, turning up to the ceiling. "I try, Neku," he murmurs. "It's - difficult."

"Difficult," Neku repeats. Honestly, now.

Joshua twines some of his hair around his fingers, though he'd already not had a strand out of place. "An entire district filled with people I need to rearrange, and you're one of the only ones I'm supposed to _not_ listen to. _Yes_ , it's difficult."

"Try harder," he snaps, without real heat. "Make me a pin, or something."

"How?" he asks, plaintively. Like Neku'd know? _Joshua_ is the composer, here. "The player pins use a trace of my power; blocking off my own awareness is beyond my capabilities." He rolls his eyes and adds, "I could look into it again, if you insist, but don't get your hopes up."

"Joshua, I would _never_ expect you to be any less than self-serving," Neku drawls, and Joshua quirks a smile. He's not sure if he means it, is the thing. He trusts Joshua, more or less, but ….

Joshua said 'again'. Maybe Neku can take that at face value, for once. "What about if someone _else_ made a pin?"

"It's no use," he says, smiling sadly. "No one in Shibuya can keep me from looking if I'm curious, Neku dear. I _am_ the composer, after all; scanning and imprinting is my job."

A job most people wouldn't want him to have, Neku mentally adds, but he _is_ the composer. Neku might not have picked him for it if he'd had a real choice, but Joshua probably knows what he's doing by now, and more than that … Neku remembers being a Player. Remembers hearing the thoughts of all the people as they walk by, how they blend together into the melody of Shibuya, each individual only rarely distinct, and how not all of the things he'd done with that were exactly moral.

Neku definitely doesn't regret scanning Joshua in the second week, but Joshua's not the only one who snoops. That's kind of a weird thought.

"Just," Neku says tiredly, "just make sure I know when you're looking."

Joshua's ever-present smirk gains some sincerity as he nods, and Neku quickly adds: "And back off when I tell you to back off."

"I have been, Neku," he says, voice light. "Both of those, even. I'm sure you're very pleased."

Neku glowers at him. No, he's not giving Joshua cookies for meeting a minimum standard of decency. After a moment, Joshua huffs, but he isn't _really_ annoyed. Neku thinks.

Neku stifles a yawn and immediately scowls. _Fuck,_ it's late, and he has school in the morning.

Joshua nods, decisive. "Are you satisfied?" he says patiently, and Neku has to think about it.

"Yeah," he settles on. "Yeah, I guess so." Not like there's much else he can do, he guesses.

"Sleep well, Neku," he murmurs, and then vanishes.

That guy is a handful and a half.

* * *

Shiki and Eri are busy _again_ , and it's a bit of a bummer: ever since Mr H found them some internships, they're either busy with those or with their own clothes, and Neku misses them. And he can always hang out with the Bitous, but it's a little strained, what with Neku having applied to a few good schools and Beat - not. Rhyme's still too young, but Beat ….

Neku likes Beat. Beat's his best friend, maybe a bit more than that, and them taking different life trajectories doesn't change that. And Neku knows that, and _Beat_ knows that, but Neku thinks _Beat's parents_ don't know that. Beat doesn't need to tell him that they think he's dragging Neku down for Neku to know they think that, and that's bullshit.

But when are Beat's parents _not_ talking bullshit.

Rhyme wins the latest round of Super Smash Bros, and Neku sighs and sets his controller down. She's gotten kind of impressive at it, even if Neku's pretty sure Beat loses on purpose. But she's good enough she could probably beat him anyway: it's just that asking Beat to actually try to win against anyone he cares about is a bit pointless. They at least leave him for last; he'll play properly if it's a group match.

There's some conversations he needs to have with Beat, and they'd be easier if Rhyme weren't in the room, so he meets Beat's eyes meaningfully and pushes Rhyme off to her homework. She's doing better. She's still not _perfect_ , not even with the direction Beat's said she had before she lost the Game, but she's doing better and really, they're all muddling their way through anyway: she's just muddling more than most.

"You got any plans for - after school?" he asks, and Beat freezes a little. "Like - jobs and shit," he adds hurriedly.

Beat sighs, scratches his head like the answer will fall out with his dandruff. "Man, I don't know," he admits. "I'm thinking electrician or something, yeah? Something where I don't need to worry about messing myself up, _you_ know."

And Neku does know. Skateboarding's awesome, and Beat's _good_ at it, good enough that if he didn't need to be able to pay his own rent, he could go pro, and maybe he'll still manage. It's worth a shot, and that's a dream not worth risking on a manual labor job.

(Maybe Joshua could help him with that, instead. Pull some strings where they could use pulling, rather than wasting Neku's and his own time trying to get him to skip art school. … nah, Neku doesn't want to risk owing him anything. Neku trusts him to an extent, but no one's ever heard of a _charitable_ death god.)

"Well," Neku says slowly, mulling over his words, "if you ever need someone to split rent with, I'm game. Just … not so much while I'm at school."

Beat lights up. "I'm gonna take you up on that, you know," he warns, raising a hand for a fist bump. Neku returns it, because he's not a jerk.

"Good, because I meant it." And hell, Rhyme's not in the room and senior year's rough all over: Neku blurts out, "Can I kiss you?"

" _Hell yes_."

They're still not amazing at it - seriously, where are their noses supposed to go, and they probably should've brushed their teeth beforehand - but they're learning, and enthusiastic determination to do well by each other wins over technique in all the ways that matter, at least for this sort of thing.

They'll work it out. They're _working_ it out, by inches and in yards, and they don't have to do it alone.

… They're probably not going to ask anyone for help with the kissing, though.


	2. Neku Tempts Fate

The weeks pass by no more eventful than usual, the murky anticipation of acceptance and rejection letters aside, and if Neku's own anxiety is personal rather than a desire to do his family proud, well … nobody who didn't already know notices, and that's what matters. Just have to keep it together for as long as it takes; he'll ask Joshua to forge it if he has to, if he gets in for the business degree his family insisted on and not the art one he actually _wants_ , pride be damned, but he hopes he won't have to.

Please may this work out. May there be enough goodwill for one kid with a dream for this to work out; he's done all he can, but it's out of his hands now.

And one day the mail arrives and it's for him and it's funny, isn't it, how knowing the answer doesn't make the stress go away. Not right away, at least, and definitely not when he's been trying not to pace for weeks. Nothing to do for it but find something to keep himself busy until it sets in, and that … works, actually, his warm-up gesture drawings as meditative as ever.

He gets up to stretch as he contemplates what to do with the evening, maybe start up some tea, and his phone vibrates. `May I come over?` Joshua's sent.

Neku sighs and mentally waves: the door's unlocked. And maybe letting Joshua into his room isn't the best idea, but nothing's gone wrong yet and he's been unfailingly decent, at least in that regard. Whatever game he's playing is longer than just killing Neku the first chance he gets, and Neku can work with that.

Joshua's brought him some coffee (Wildkat's, of course: where else?), but past that, he sits back and lets Neku work, only commenting when Neku stops to wonder what to do next. He's a surprisingly appreciative audience, and Neku can mostly put him out of mind as he goes. Only _mostly_ , though, Joshua's presence leaving a strange buzzing sound at the edge of his hearing, as impossible to ignore as an undead mosquito, and that can't possibly be a good sign. Neku can't scan anymore, or shouldn't be able to, but he senses him anyway, clearer than Noise and louder each time. But it hasn't caused problems yet, and that's … as much as he can hope for, really.

Eventually the pitch changes and Neku snaps up to see Joshua staring at his desk. Or, more accurately, the papers _on_ his desk, chief of which is his information packet from Geidai.

"You're leaving Shibuya," Joshua comments, like he couldn't possibly care less, and Neku doesn't even need that strange scanning-like ability to read the air to tell he's upset.

"Just to get my degree," he explains. "I like it here."

"Why even go to university?" Joshua asks, condescending. "Mr H'd be happy to give you all the recommendations you need; you have more than enough contacts to get by."

"I don't want to rely on Mr H," he says, and it's true. It's also not the real answer. He might be Shibuya born and bred, but sometimes you need to leave to know why you stay. "It'll only be a few years, Josh. It's not even that far."

" _I_ didn't go to university and I turned out fine," he says, ignoring him. Neku doesn't dignify that with a response, just raises an eyebrow. "… Neku."

"Yeah?"

Joshua's focus is completely on him and Neku shivers from the weight of it. "You're aware you're barred from Playing in _all_ Games, not simply the Shibuya one, correct?"

And Neku wasn't, actually, but whose fault is that? "It's only a few years, Josh. I'm not likely to die."

"Simply because it isn't _likely_ doesn't mean it won't _happen_ , Neku," and this concern would be more charming if it wasn't from the person who'd killed him in the first place. "You sound rather a lot like Shibuya," he adds intently. "Who's to say the composer might not take offense and defend her Game?"

Neku's only from a few neighborhoods over; who'd care about him moving about Tokyo? Even if Joshua has a point, and Neku's not saying he does, getting pissy over a half-hour commute'd be absolutely ridiculous. "Lots of students aren't local, Josh. She'll deal."

Joshua crosses his arms, sulking. However old he is, he still acts like a spoiled child. "Neku, Neku, Neku," he sighs, as Neku looks at him. "You sound like a reaper, and more than that, you sound like one of _my_ reapers. It's not safe for you to leave Shibuya as you are."

And yet he leaves Shibuya half the time when he goes shopping and _nothing horrible has happened_. "If it's that much of a problem," Neku says, "explain to her I'm just visiting and I'll be gone as soon as I'm done." Honestly, this is absurd.

"You're alive," Joshua says, patient, "so you're technically out of my jurisdiction. You're just _also_ strong enough to be quite the catch for whichever Underground claims you, and a less … upstanding … composer may simply permit you to be hit by a car, rather than risk letting you further Shibuya's interests."

Death politics. Neku's favorite, especially when there's no good reason he'd seem like a reaper in the first place. "Yeah, you're just sounding paranoid, sorry. I'm going off to university either way, but if you find something that'd help you worry less that _doesn't_ involve killing me, tell me and I'll consider it. But I _am_ going."

"I'll look into it," and that's not reassuring, but he's already gone.

* * *

"Hey, Mr H," Neku says, and maybe this isn't the most normal conversation topic, but he's the only one Neku can talk to about it and he _does_ need to know. Even if it hopefully won't be relevant anytime soon. "What happens when I die?"

"In Shibuya?" he clarifies, completely unfazed. "I guess Josh'd give you a few options and you'd pick from them, since he still doesn't have a conductor."

Still? It's been years; what's he waiting for? (And the traitorous voice in his head suggests _you_ , but wouldn't he have just killed Neku if he wanted that? So that can't be it, or not all of it.) "What about outside of Shibuya?" Hanekoma gives him a look like _there are things outside of Shibuya?_ , so he elaborates: "I got accepted to Geidai."

"Then either the conductor or composer scans you to make a decision, since you can't Play again," he says. That doesn't sound too bad, Neku thinks, but Hanekoma continues like it's an afterthought: "Though Josh and I might end up the creek without a paddle, if you get my drift, since you shouldn't know about any of this." He's still completely casual, even though Neku's pretty sure the Underground only has one form of punishment, and … Neku could get them in trouble?

Neku could get them in major trouble, just by knowing them. With who? How _much_ trouble? And why is this the first time he's hearing about this? "So … Joshua not wanting me to go, that's his self interest talking?"

"Nah," and Hanekoma's still utterly unconcerned. "Think the kid's more worried about me."

Neku rubs at his head. "What does he need to worry about you for? Him, I get: he _really_ wasn't supposed to kill me and leave his Game, was he? But why would you get in trouble?"

"Oh, this and that," he says, noncommittal. That _doesn't help_ , but Neku can recognise by now when he's being blown off.

And then Joshua materialises in the corner with a buzzing loud enough for Neku to cover his ears, though it doesn't do a damn thing to blunt it. Joshua and Hanekoma exchange a glance, and the sound fades enough for Neku to tune it out, though it doesn't go away completely.

"Sanae," Joshua says, less than pleased.

"Hey, boss," Hanekoma replies, completely casual. "Didn't feel like knocking today?"

"You should throw him something of a bone," he chides, and if _Joshua_ thinks Neku's being left too far out of the loop, it's … probably pretty bad. "Considering what he would do for your sake."

They stare each other down, the composer and … whatever Hanekoma is, Neku _still_ doesn't know, and even if Neku respects Mr H deeply, something about that smile unsettles him somewhere primal. A jaguar waiting to pounce, and Joshua isn't fazed one bit.

Hanekoma waves his arm dismissively, conceding the point. "I broke a few rules during the Game," he admits. "Wasn't really supposed to intervene with the Bitou kids, for one thing. Good thing it all turned out okay, though, right?" And he smiles that easy smile, though Joshua's still watching him.

And maybe that's all of it, and Neku really _wants_ to trust him, but he trusted his artwork and look how that turned out. "Yeah, it did," he says, forcing the smile he'd like to mean. It's so much nicer when he doesn't know he's being lied to.

Joshua glances between them and smirks. "So, Mr H," he says, right back to his usual friendly tone, back to acting like any other teenager, "is there any way to link someone to a particular UG while still alive?"

Hanekoma hums, thinking about it. (Why would he know these things, anyway?) "Yeah," he says eventually, "yeah, I can think of a few ways, though they're usually not strictly legal." He rubs at his chin. "Why? You got something in mind?"

Neku wishes they'd just say this stuff straight-out, rather than play-acting for his benefit. It's not cute and it's not funny, and he expects these things from Joshua, but Mr Hanekoma should be _better_ than that. Neku thought he was better than that.

Joshua stands up and strides over to Neku, looking at him straight in the eye, direct as when he has a gun in Neku's hands. "Neku," he says, "be my conductor."

"I …."

"Not right away," he adds. "It would be difficult for you to continue your schooling while taking up your new duties, and Yashiro and Kariya can handle themselves just fine for now. But once you're ready to commit to Shibuya, once you're tired of living a purely Realground life, join me as my conductor."

He thought this might happen, but the difference between recognising it as a possibility and staring it in the face is like acrylic and oils. He backs up, and even if he knew this could happen - it's a lot to commit to, a lot to think about. He's still in high school. He's still _alive_. "… Do I have to decide now?"

Joshua sighs and leans back, hand on his chin. "I _suppose_ not, but the sooner I know to look for another candidate, the better." And from the way he says that, he's not really looking forward to it.

Well. He's had _ages_ to shop around; if he's still set on Neku, either he's fixated on him, or Neku might actually be one of the better options. … He's guessing the former.

Neku groans, long and drawn out. Why didn't Joshua ask him when they first met outside the Game; that way, Neku could've gotten the _holy shit, why would you think I'd want to help you kill people_ out of the way already. But noooo, he had to wait long enough for Neku to know he can't be all bad, that maybe even the _Game_ isn't all bad. None of them are the same people they were before they died, and that's probably a good thing, but seriously? _Seriously?_

Figures. Of _course_ Joshua can't be straightforward about anything, except when it benefits him. And of course he'd've waited until Neku wouldn't reject it out of hand. "… What happens if I change my mind?" he says eventually, hating himself a little for thinking about it. If he's the conductor, he can keep it fair. It'd still be awful, but at least it'd be fair.

Joshua glances at Hanekoma, trusting his expertise. "Josh, got anything that sounds like him and you?"

"He's preened my feathers," he says, so neutral it has to be significant. Joshua'd never explained, not any of the few times he'd had Neku pet him, but Neku's not completely oblivious: anything that makes Joshua touchy-feely has to be at least a _little_ important. (Unless Joshua was just messing with him. That's always a possibility with Joshua.)

"That'd work, then," Hanekoma replies after a moment, raising his eyebrows and utterly smug. Neku's face is hot and that isn't even _dirty_ ; it's just _weird Joshua shit_ ; he should not be nearly as embarrassed as he is. - hey, Joshua's determinedly examining the pastry display case. That's actually comforting.

"Neku," Hanekoma says, suddenly serious, "the way I'm thinking of would bind you to Joshua and Joshua to you, rather than you to Shibuya directly. It's a bit more reversible, though if you broke it, Shibuya would _hate_ you. Cities don't like losing their toys."

"And what happens if Shibuya hates me?" That the district would have an opinion doesn't strike him as weird anymore. Sure, why not?

"You'd have to move," he says, matter of fact. "You wouldn't be able to create art within the district, and nothing you made would speak to people. You'd be a dead zone."

Neku winces. He hasn't been an artist for that long, but that's _terrifying_. "But only in Shibuya," he checks.

"Only in Shibuya," he confirms. "There's a whole other world out there if you change your mind."

A whole other world that isn't his home, though, and he doesn't think Hanekoma and Joshua think that highly of it, either. "And I don't have to decide now."

"The offer stands for as long as you're in Shibuya," Joshua confirms. "Though I would prefer if you decided _before_ leaving for university."

In case someone tries sniping him. When did his life become complicated? (Probably when he was shot the first time, and it's depressing how he can barely pull up the requisite anger when he thinks of that. It's old news, last year's fashions. Plenty of other things he can get mad about that aren't over and done with.)

"I'll think about it," is all he says, and he ducks out.

Staying in WildKat to chat with Hanekoma just doesn't have the same appeal anymore.


	3. Neku Tries His Luck

Shiki would tell him it's a bad idea.

Shiki would tell him it's a bad idea, and that Joshua's _killed him_ before, and that Neku can't trust him, and she might even be right. Neku wouldn't want her to be right, and is pretty sure Joshua's better than that (better than what? Better than shooting him a _third time_ and making it three for three? Even his mental impression of Shiki's great at knocking off his rose-colored glasses -), but that's what good friends do. They help keep you from making bad decisions.

Trouble is, even knowing the decision's bad and that there is really, honestly, a lot more risk than reward in doing whatever the hell Joshua and Mr Hanekoma have planned, even if it looks mostly okay …

… Neku still wants to consider it.

And maybe he's trying to justify what shouldn't even be thought about, but really: if he can't trust Joshua to be decent if the unthinkable happens, could he really have kept living in Shibuya anyway? Joshua _is_ Shibuya, or at least the fucked up underworld side of it; if his wary friendship with him went that foul, Neku'd probably have to move anyway.

That … doesn't make him feel any better. Actually, that probably makes it worse.

 _God_ is he glad he's going to live on campus. It's far enough he'll get some space from Joshua, space that _isn't_ reliant on the honor system, while still being in Tokyo, so he can return to the streets he loves any time he wants.

Darkly, he waits a few seconds to see if he notices Joshua's presence. Nothing. Maybe he really is usually leaving Neku's thoughts to himself. It'd be great if it's true: something that Neku knows for sure that's his own without Joshua's elegant fingers in it.

Still nothing. Huh.

Experimentally, Neku tries to think as hard as he can: _Joshua!_

A moment's delay, and then: `Yes, what?` with an accompanying twinge in his head.

"I just was wondering if you were paying attention," he admits.

`No. Should I have been?`

"No," Neku says firmly. "Now go away."

An exasperated sigh and a sense of Joshua putting up his arms in frustration, and the buzzing headache lets up. Good.

His phone vibrates. `I have better things to do with my time than spy on you, you know,` Joshua writes. `Kindly leave me to them.`

`Sometimes I wonder,` Neku replies.

Right, well. Friends might help keep you from making bad decisions, but a good friend'll help you make them _properly_ , and a _great_ friend will help you fix it afterward, so he texts Shiki: `Can I call you?`

No response for a minute or two, then: `Ill call in 2 secs`

Neku fidgets. Flips through his email. Fidgets more. Checks the time. Waiting, waiting - ah, there it goes. He picks up on the third ring. "Hey," he says.

"Sorry," Shiki blurts out, a bit breathless. "I was busy. What's up?"

"You ever know something's an awful idea and then kind of want to do it anyway?" he asks, trying not to sigh.

Shiki laughs darkly. "How do you think I got a job with D+B?" A sigh, and she continues. "Yeah, plenty. What's up?"

He lays out what he can, leaving out the bits about Conducting (that's too big for Neku to even _think_ about right now, and Shiki's even less comfortable with Game stuff than he is) or Joshua worrying about assassinations because seriously, who would want to kill Neku? Other than Joshua, that is. Just sounds like Joshua-brand paranoia, and it's enough of a mess without making Shiki think his friendship with Joshua's more dangerous than it is.

Shiki hums at the appropriate parts, as much encouraging him to continue as to express her disapproval of - probably everything Joshua has ever done in his (un)life, really, with the exception of reviving them. Maybe between the two of them, they'll settle on an accurate opinion on Joshua. Heh. Yeah, right.

"I think that's a bigger mess than I know what to deal with," Shiki says frankly. "I'm … kind of glad you're going to live on campus."

"Me too," Neku says. "Me too."

"Well," she says, "you're probably right that you'd have to move anyway if something goes badly." Not that that makes anything better, he thinks, and he bets she's thinking it too. "So … do you _want_ to do whatever it is?"

"Um …."

"I wouldn't," she adds. "I don't trust either of them not to pull something. Even if they can both be okay."

Wait, _both_? When has Shiki ever met Joshua? "Yeah," he says, unconvinced. "Joshua's been fairly straight with me for a while, though."

Shiki snickers. Neku goes over that in his head again and joins her. " _Straightforward_ , I meant."

"Yeah, I don't think any of us can do 'straight' if you gave us a GPS," she quips. "Not that I can blame you: boys _are_ pretty cute."

"So's Joshua."

Shiki gets his meaning. "You're pretty cute, too. - Not that I'm hitting on you or anything! I just -"

Neku laughs. "I _am_ cute," he agrees. "You're cute, too. We're all cute."

"We are," Shiki says, and then more confidently: "We _are._ "

"But anyway," Neku says, bringing them back on topic even if it's uncomfortable, "it's kind of … do I do the thing to make Joshua happy, even if it's silly? Or do I not, and just - hope I don't get hit by a car?"

"Don't talk about getting hit by a car," Shiki says, serious. Neku mutters an apology. Yeah, that is kind of insensitive, even if they've all …. "It's your choice," she says, less than thrilled, "but if you don't feel safe telling him no, then don't do it."

"Nah," Neku says, sure about this like he isn't the rest of it. "He's not like that. He'd sulk a lot, but I really don't think he'd do anything."

"If you're sure."

He lets the topic drop and chats with her about how her latest sewing project's going (D+B's going to do some limited edition Dangerous Buffalo plushes, and Shiki's design barely looks like a pig at all) and about her relationship with Eri (still rocky, but Shiki's been teaching her how to sew and Eri's - not good, exactly, but learning how to compensate for her shaky hands, and they're happy) and he's even able to shake her down for plans for their next shopping trip. There's nothing quite like looking for art supplies with another artist, even if you don't share media, and lucky him, but Eri's busy with work that day.

(Eri's a nice girl, and he's glad Shiki's happy with her, both as a partner and a girlfriend, but every time he's stuck hanging out with her, he learns a bit more about how he just cannot _stand_ her. She's loud and perky and friendly and Neku's absolutely certain that she means well and hates him almost as much as he does her. They both know the other isn't a bad person, but wow, is it awkward.)

Eventually he hangs up, feeling better about having finally gotten to talk to Shiki and knowing that whatever happens, Shiki won't be mad at him. She might do her absolute best to take down Joshua if anything goes wrong, but she's not going to blame Neku for any of it.

It's as much as he'd do for her, but still: he feels better having heard it.

Joshua's bullshit isn't his fault, and whatever happens, his other friends will still be his friends, even if he has to leave Shibuya.

But one of the things about leaving Shibuya - even just for university - is that it means he's _leaving Shibuya_ , and he has more belongings than he feels comfortable bringing with him on one rail trip. He … could probably leave some of them at his family's place, at least for a little while, but that seems like it's asking for trouble.

It might actually be worth it to move his keyboard and drum set out before then: at least then he'll know they're safe, even if not having them when he wants them's going to suck. That in mind, he checks with the Bitous if they've got space, and ends up lending them to Beat with permission to fiddle with them so long as he's careful.

Rhyme turns out to be a surprisingly talented drummer; she might not have Neku's confidence or skill, but she can keep time nearly as well as a metronome and she could really get somewhere with that if she keeps with it. Neku tells her as much, and if she's shy about the compliment, she still knows Neku wouldn't say it if he doesn't mean it.

Their parents are thrilled for the excuse to have Neku visit more often, which they can all do without. Neku just wanted to make sure his keyboard would be safe and used while he's still getting his stuff together; he didn't want them to give Beat and Rhyme another guilt trip about dropping piano classes.

The siblings don't blame Neku for it, at least, and Beat's resulting melancholy lifts after Neku privately asks him to demonstrate something he learned in class and then licks Beat's fingers. Beat flushes red; even if Beat's hands have the callouses of an athlete, they're still beautiful, and Neku's more than happy to show his appreciation.

Just not with Rhyme in the room.

A few weeks with his other friends wash away his apprehension, and one Friday afternoon, Neku finally feels comfortable enough to pick up his phone and speed-dial Joshua.

"I'll do it," he says, and that really is that.


	4. Joshua Has Many Ideas, Most of Them Bad

"I'll do it," Neku says, and Joshua'd catch his breath if he still had one. He's known Neku trusts him, even if he doesn't have the faintest idea why, but this is something else. This is letting Joshua stake a claim on him that'll last even outside of Shibuya, and that's - Joshua isn't sure how he feels about that.

Heh. He shouldn't get his hopes up too high; Neku probably just would rather the composer he knows than the composer he doesn't, and _Joshua_ wouldn't trust the ones in Taito or Nerima as far as he can throw them.

(Joshua also wouldn't trust himself, but that's a given. Trusting Joshua is an excellent way to get yourself shot: just look at Neku. He's still more predictable than the alternative.)

He leads Neku back to his place, though Neku knows the way already, and could probably find it asleep, not that Joshua would trust him not to walk into a puddle or some scrap metal or something. Neku can be _so_ clumsy, after all. Joshua is loathe to imagine what it was like to actually have to use _feet_. Being alive's so inconvenient; it'd be better for everyone once Neku's a reaper.

Neku doesn't say anything as they walk, and while Joshua doesn't listen to the specifics, he can tell that today, leaving Neku to his thoughts would help him more than it hurts. Anything he can process _now_ rather than after the fact can only be to Joshua's benefit, and even if Joshua'd rather talk to distract himself, it's not worth it. He instead diverts some of his energy to sorting out a couple who've been having some _artistic differences_ , nothing worth troubling any of the reapers or players with when he can fix it himself. It's not the most efficient usage of resources, but so it goes, and at least they're a sure bet.

(Pointing those girls Neku's friends are friends with towards traditional dyeing methods _isn't_ a sure bet, but Joshua's confident it'll work. He may need to have Yashiro set the players to it, however.)

 _Walking_ is still as strange as it is unnecessary, but it's oddly comforting to feel Shibuya's chorus ebb and flow as they go past Hachiko and through the sewers, and finally to Shibuya River and the heart of his domain. Joshua's not exactly fond of visitors, but there are few enough places where he can keep his vibe from being overwhelming, and the dull roar of Shibuya's composer permeating everything is preferable to muting himself in one of the Game-sanctioned shops.

Neku winces as he crosses the river, and again as Joshua tweaks his frequency to that of his apartment, though Joshua doubts Neku understands why. It's easier than it had been, to nudge Neku as Joshua might a young reaper, and maybe someday soon Neku will understand how to do it himself.

Maybe Neku will know how as Joshua's conductor, but - no, Joshua _really_ shouldn't get his hopes up. Neku hasn't rejected him out of hand, but Joshua has no idea how he'll feel once he's out of Shibuya's reach. _Joshua_ hasn't nudged him, but the city knows when there's a power vacuum and who can fill it, and doesn't always listen when Joshua says, _no, not this way_.

"Here we are," Joshua says once they're inside, arms outstretched magnanimously. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Neku jerks up, surprised. Joshua is perfectly capable of being a decent host, thank you. "Sure?" Neku hazards. "What do you have?"

Anything that exists in Shibuya, he doesn't say, and instead shows Neku some of the things he has behind the bar. Nothing alcoholic: Neku's the type to be concerned about drinking ages, and anyway Joshua has no idea what his tolerance is like. Neku ends up settling on a can of coffee.

Sanae's going to be furious. Joshua approves.

Don't eat foods from the underworld, or else you might not be able to leave, but that's the point of this endeavor, isn't it? To let Neku take a piece of Shibuya with him so that when the time comes, Joshua'll be the one to judge him. Or the one to send him back, as the case may be, but with luck, Neku'll decide to stay Shibuya's sooner rather than later.

Once Neku's settled, Joshua hums and summons Sanae. Best to get to it.

Sanae materialises right outside and then saunters in like he owns the place, and Neku straightens up a bit. "Hi, Mr H," Neku says, nervous.

Joshua really is going to have to have Sanae explain some things. Neku knows just enough to not be able to trust him, and that's unacceptable. Joshua has no need of a producer and conductor that are at odds. (Technically, his conductor shouldn't even know the producer _exists_ , but rules are for other people and Neku nearly had been a composer himself. Sanae had shown himself first, anyway, and let Neku believe _Sanae_ is the composer, so it's hardly Joshua's fault.)

Sanae just sighs and musses up his hair. " _Canned_ coffee, huh," he says, as much to Joshua as Neku. "Trying to get rid of me already?"

"I'm sure it tastes better than your swill," Joshua drawls. "Right, Neku?"

"Hey, don't drag me into this," Neku interjects, like he didn't know this would happen, as he takes a swig to hide his smirk and then does a marvelous job of pretending he wouldn't rather be drinking actual coffee.

Sanae looks between the two of them like he's expecting collusion, then throws up his hands. "You kids are awful," he proclaims. "That stuff is a _disgrace to the beans_ , you know that, right? There were perfectly good coffee beans that got wasted for that. _You can't do that to beans!_ "

Joshua snickers; Neku coughs suspiciously. "Because the _beans_ were the important bit there, right," Neku says.

"Hey, brat, don't underestimate beans!" he says, looking at his nails in dismay. He keeps them so _blunt_ when he's trying to be harmless; it's ridiculous. "A volcano worked hard to fertilise those beans, you know, and beans are a vital part of the ecosystem. _Respect the beans_."

"Respect the beans," Neku echoes.

"Beans deserve respect," Sanae says firmly. "I love beans."

"He does love beans," Joshua tells Neku conspiratorially. "So much that he put that in his classifieds ad. Mind you, I have no idea who actually reads the classifieds in this day and age …."

"Why would you even know that?" Neku mock-whispers back, loud enough that Sanae wouldn't need angel hearing to make it out.

Joshua smiles innocently and smoothly dodges as Sanae tries to ruffle his hair.

"Hey," Sanae snaps, not at all irritated, "I don't need the classifieds. Have you seen this face?"

He looks him over, gaze steady and half-lidded, though he's already reached a conclusion. "Scruffy, unkempt, and in dire need of a shave," he ticks off, "not to mention your charming failure to understand the purpose of _buttons_. Truly a heart-throb. What next, socks with sandals?"

"Low blow, Josh, low blow."

And Neku's glancing between the two of them, clearly uncomfortable and Joshua isn't sure why. Maybe he should - no, bad. Joshua instead looks at him in honest confusion; he'd meant for the banter to leave him _more_ relaxed, not less.

"Are you …" Neku starts, then he shakes his head. "Nevermind."

That was less than helpful. Joshua mentally nudges Sanae instead, but he just sends back a terse Why don't you check yourself? Very helpful, Sanae, that certainly had not occurred to him. Yes, that's _precisely_ how Joshua should best earn his trust: by digging through his mind against his express wishes for whatever he's decided against telling him.

For his next trick, he'll invite Neku to a reaper party without the slightest indication that anyone else would be there. _Honestly,_ now.

Wow, pissy, Sanae sends back, and Joshua'd roll his eyes if he didn't mind if Neku noticed.

Neku might have noticed anyway, Joshua realises, even with the whole thing taking only a moment and neither of them showing it on any plane Neku should be able to see. Even Joshua can only sense with active effort, and yet Neku knows enough to tense up at their spat. Curious.

Well, Joshua _has_ been raising Neku's vibe whenever he has the opportunity; it's no real surprise if that has effects other than the obvious. Oh well; too late now.

Joshua tosses Neku his best puppy smile, but it only really shifts Neku's consternation to suspicion. Bah, stick in the mud, so he then slides over and drapes his arm around Neku's shoulders, going just slow enough to let him duck if he wants to. It's a bit painful to force his vibe low enough to not unsettle Neku, especially with Sanae there to leave Joshua on edge, but Neku returns him a grin and it's worth it. Joshua can so rarely touch people as he'd like; he won't waste the opportunity, no matter how much Sanae judges him for it.

And if Joshua decides to murmur into Neku's ear, "Shall we, then?" that's his own prerogative.

Neku flushes, mostly from their proximity, and Joshua smirks. "Why do you always make everything sound _dirty_?" Neku hisses, tensing, but he doesn't make the slightest effort to throw Joshua off.

"What makes you think it's my fault?" he replies innocently, and Neku stomps on his foot. Joshua lets annoyance flash across his face and pulls away, giving Neku the point. "Really, Neku, have you considered that it might be _you_ with the filthy mind?"

Neku's glare is exactly as dry as that deserves, and Joshua beams. "Yeah, sure," Neku drawls. "That explains _everything_."

"I knew you'd see it my way," he replies sweetly, and Neku flips him off. Really, Neku should try spending a few decades without many options for company; it's amazing how creative one can get.

"How about you stop acting like an asshole and we actually get to the program?" Neku says finally, and Joshua shrugs helplessly as Sanae smirks.

"You sure he's acting, Neku?" Sanae quips, and Joshua steps on his foot. Sanae's sandals might be atrocious, but they _are_ convenient, and Sanae bats at him.

"Oh, let's just get to it," Joshua concedes, and it's only a slight twist of will to bring the path to his throne room down to where Neku can see it. Sanae waltzes through the doorway first, utterly nonchalant about having Joshua to his back, and Neku almost follows him before stopping, concerned.

About what, Joshua isn't sure; it could be their plan, or it could be whatever was bothering him earlier, and Neku's too tense for Joshua to scan him without trying.

Either Joshua will find out later, or it didn't really matter, he supposes, and so he waves Neku on, polite and imperious. Neku watches him for a moment, mulling over something, and goes through.


	5. Joshua Mucks Up His Hair

It's been ages since he's seen CAT's mural with his own eyes, and it hasn't gotten any less tacky. Truth be told, Joshua'd rather they just proceed to his throne room, but Neku's stopped to stare at it with guarded awe.

Joshua missed a lot of things in the third week of his Game, but one of the few he wishes he'd seen personally was Neku's expression back when he believed CAT was the composer. Was it like this? No; this is the product of a respect broken and repaired and broken once more. And it's interesting, isn't it, how Neku could forgive Joshua for trying to destroy them all, and yet CAT marketing the artwork of people too deceased to care is too far.

Neku's expression the first time must have been anguished, raw and beautiful, but this … this is just the sad eyes of someone who forgave and forgave and learned there was no reason to forgive again.

Joshua will have to do something about that, someday.

Sanae is watching him, too, Joshua realises, expression unreadable. They've both made so many mistakes with him, more than he'll ever forget, but perhaps if Neku can still trust Joshua …. And perhaps not; only time will tell and not even their foresight can answer everything. For every path another world's tread, there's three more still unpaved, and Neku's future is less certain than many.

Neku shakes himself out of it and runs to catch up, only to see that they'd both stopped to watch him, flashing him matching sad smiles. Neku meets their eyes, maybe wistful, maybe angry, then shivers and storms onward.

Joshua does likewise, only belatedly noticing he'd fallen into harmony with Sanae. It's so easy sometimes, to switch from listening to him to listening _with_ him, and it's even easier here near the heart of Shibuya. The perils of associating with angels, Joshua assumes, though the only angels he's ever met were all Sanae.

Joshua snorts and twists open the door to his throne room, letting Neku keep the lead even as Joshua dematerialises and reappears on his throne like he'd never left. Neku glowers and Sanae snickers, but it _is_ his right as composer.

Joshua hums thoughtfully, sprawled over the chair like he has no need for dignity, and truly he doesn't. They all know who he is, after all. "It's been a while, hasn't it," he muses, and Neku makes a face.

"If you brought me here just to shoot me again," Neku informs him, "I'm going to be pissed."

"That would be rather gauche of me, wouldn't it?" Joshua says idly. "Besides, I'd prefer if you had the gun." It's funny because it's true, and this is - really not the time to be thinking about that, actually. _Well._

Neku blanches, then gags exaggeratedly. "That's even worse," he states. Joshua agrees, if by 'worse' Neku meant 'better', but he wisely keeps this to himself.

"Conveniently, that's not what I had in mind." Not today, at any rate, he doesn't add, and _my_ is that not something he should think about right now. He looks to Sanae to have him explain the plan, sure Neku'd rather hear it from him, and even if Neku's uncomfortable with him, Joshua is probably right.

Circles and sigils probably sound safer than the sorts of things Joshua does every day, at least if you're not familiar with the basics of angel magic, and Neku seems to relax at the prospect of it only involving drawing. Foolish.

As far as Joshua can determine, Sanae's plan should be safe, but he's no expert, and honestly, he would rather shoot Neku and be done with it. Keeping a Shibuya reaper fed while they live outside of Shibuya's a hassle, especially since Joshua wouldn't be able to pass him off to another UG and still expect to get him back afterward, but at least that's something he _understands_.

Joshua trusts Sanae with his own Soul, and with Shibuya, but that doesn't keep his hackles from raising at the prospect of trusting him with Neku. A territory thing, he suspects, of no good use to anyone, but particularly useless now. Neku's agreed to this and Joshua should be glad of it; it's more than he expected and Sanae is hardly going to screw them over.

… Probably.

Joshua holds back a sigh as Sanae has Neku take his shirt off so he can work. At least Neku isn't near as body-shy as he could be. Joshua'll have to thank Shiki for curing him of some of it; this is frustrating enough already.

Sanae delicately lays out the sigil on Neku's back with a clear brush pen, and it's all Joshua can do to keep from shoving him out of the way. Even if leaving the actual sketch to Sanae is the best way of making sure it's done properly. Joshua's pride can handle it. Probably.

Neku keeps shivering, though, tickled by the brush, and Joshua really wishes he was doing the whole process himself, even if Neku finds being shirtless near Sanae mortifying. A little mark in his favor, that Neku would be more comfortable if it were simply the two of them.

Or maybe just self preservation: leaving one's back to Sanae expecting him not to scratch is one of the less sensible things Joshua can imagine doing. Sanae is his producer and he will let no one take him from him; Joshua trusts him, but it's the sort of trust where he always assumed Sanae would betray him the moment he thought it was best. It was as much as he did for his previous composer, after all.

That Sanae thought he would be mad and tried to _hide_ it from him still stings more than he'd like. Joshua thought they knew each other better than that. Not least because keeping anything from a composer within their own district for long is a futile exercise. Sanae's interesting: an assassination attempt or two doesn't change that, but thinking he can outwit Joshua for long might.

Sanae elegantly arcs out where Joshua will need to write Shibuya, and Joshua leans on Neku's Music, even if it is petty. Nothing he should notice, just an impression of calm as Joshua adds another line to the harmony, a continuation of Shibuya's leitmotif. It's a little tacky to be doing this while Neku's alive - Neku sounds more like a reaper officer than most of his officers, and it's all Joshua's fault - but there's only so much Joshua can do to keep his vibe in check. And Neku hadn't left Shibuya for long before this.

(What Neku doesn't know is that Joshua _had_ been informing other composers whenever Neku left Joshua's territory, especially during a Game. No, this isn't an attempt at a coup; yes, he'll be right back; no, he won't touch anything: he doesn't even know _how_. But there's a difference between a brief visit and going somewhere for university, and even if rewriting Neku to a different place would be time-consuming, all the hard work had been done already. Snatching him up would be the easiest thing in the world.

Joshua doesn't trust anyone not to do what he would himself; it cuts out most of the disappointment.)

Sanae notices, because of course he notices, and Joshua shrugs helplessly. He'd laid down the _this is mine_ lines before he and Neku were even introduced; it's hardly a shock that he would keep it up, even if it's more _I am his_ these days. Joshua's death has sat in Neku's hands, and even if Neku refused to take hold, Joshua will offer it every time. Neku may do with Joshua what he will, but Joshua will make damn sure he has the option.

Neku glances back at them, though he should probably be staying still. "Almost done," Sanae tells him, signing it. Marking it as producer-approved, for however much that's worth. (Joshua appreciates the gesture: they should go down together, or better yet, not at all.)

"Good," Neku says, "because it's kind of cold."

Joshua huffs. He keeps the temperature just _fine_ , thank you; it isn't his fault if Neku is a wimp.

"Josh still needs to do the hard part," Sanae warns, and Neku looks at the two of them a bit warily. Second thoughts, or maybe fifth or sixth.

"Think of it as insurance against anyone else shooting you," Joshua says lightly.

Neku snorts, back in his element. "Yeah, that's your job." Better.

"My thoughts exactly."

Joshua takes out one of the feathers Neku'd removed all that while ago and smiles. A reaper's wings guard their soul; a composer or angel's spread it out for all to see, and _this_ feather was a bit of his pride - or maybe hubris: he can admit that now, that maybe his assurance that everything he does is justified might have extended into a character flaw - loosened by their Game and removed by Neku himself.

Joshua can link him to Shibuya ( _to himself_ ), but Neku can cut it off at any time. It would be good for Joshua to remember that.

Joshua looks at Sanae and waves him off. _A bit of privacy?_ he thinks, quirking a brow, sure Sanae'll hear.

"Well, I'm off," he says, like it's his own idea. "Call me if you need anything, right, boss, Neku?" Neku mumbles an affirmative and relaxes audibly once Sanae vanishes through the door. Joshua wonders when he lost the trust there, but Neku's made it very clear he doesn't want Joshua to pry. Pity. … Perhaps Sanae knows.

"This may hurt," Joshua warns, mentally suggesting the feather's quill grow sharp enough to cut. It's still his, even humming with Neku's untrained power and discarded, and it responds easily. "Are you ready?"

Neku braces himself and Joshua hears the echoes of his worries as Neku considers if he really will go through with this. This is Neku's decision, whatever he chooses, even if Joshua doesn't like it, and he simply waits. Trying not to seem impatient, even if Joshua suspects Neku might be growing to hear it anyway. (Joshua's own fault, still.)

"… Yeah," Neku says eventually, and Joshua's wings relax, though Neku definitely shouldn't be able to see them on his own yet. (Small mercies.) "Let's do this."

"Hold still," Joshua instructs, lacing it with an imprint, and he draws the first stroke. Neku hisses, and Joshua mentally holds him there as the thin line of blood beads up and does not drip. (Does Neku notice? Joshua suspects he does, and the idea that Neku'll know on his own when Joshua's meddling scares him more than he'd like to admit. He'll let go the moment Neku wants to move; please may Neku understand that, that Joshua isn't trying to trap him.)

Joshua waits for a moment. "All right?" he checks, and Neku jerks a nod.

"Yeah," he says. "It's kind of … tingly? Like bells." He frowns. "That didn't really make sense, did it."

"No, I understand," Joshua says, and he does. Shibuya _likes_ Neku, maybe even more than Joshua does, wants him to stay and grow and change with it forever and ever, and this is the heart of Shibuya. And it won't keep him if he doesn't want to stay.

Joshua understands better than he'd like.

"Then shall I continue?" he asks, like it's the weather, and Neku nods. Joshua works in silence, just listening to Neku breathing as Joshua marks out the angelic sigil on his back. He doesn't understand the whole thing, but it's easy enough to trace Sanae's guidelines and blur the right edges with a few drops of blood. Soon enough, he has everything but the names of himself, his district, and his producer scratched in, and he takes a step back.

"You done?" Neku asks, a bit surprised. Joshua moved a lot faster than Sanae did, he supposes.

"Not quite." He looks it over, humming. This _should_ work, even if he's not clear on exactly what it says would happen to _Joshua_ if he tried to break the link. Something unpleasant. … well, he'll just have to hope he doesn't regret linking Neku to Shibuya. "… How do you feel about a Gatito tattoo?"

Neku turns his head to see if Joshua looks serious: he is. Neku blanches. "I'll pass."

"I thought you might." Joshua does a tricky little manipulation to keep Sanae's name from setting in, and quickly jots in his and Shibuya's signatures.

The whole sigil glows blue for a moment, which he expected, and pulls at Shibuya's Music, which he didn't. Neku says something, but Joshua doesn't hear it: just the overwhelming cacophony he remembers from when he first became composer, before Shibuya had decided if he was acceptable. Neku might not be strong enough to withstand it, he realises, and he pulls his power around him, maybe too caustic himself to be any use as a shield but still probably better than nothing.

If Sanae lied to him, or one of them messed this up -

Neku _shrinks_ and launches himself like a cannonball through Joshua's arm as Shibuya suddenly quiets. Actually _through_ his arm, and Joshua just stares at the hole uselessly for a moment before pulling himself together.

_What did you do?!_ Neku screeches, and Joshua really wishes he knew the answer himself. He forces himself to look: it can't be worse than whatever he imagines.

Oh. Neku glares at him from atop Joshua's throne, and it _is_ Neku: that sound would be unmistakable even without the faint accompaniment of … Joshua himself, he supposes. Strange.

"Well, aren't _you_ adorable," Joshua says, self-satisfied, looking up at the tiny orange and purple monkey that Joshua supposes must be Neku's Noise form. Some kind of tamarin?

Neku flips him off, and he can't say he doesn't deserve it. _Fix this!_ he yells. His orange mane looks so _fluffy_. Joshua is almost jealous.

"I will if you come over here," he says agreeably. Neku hisses at him, and he honestly could not mind less. He didn't mess this up. … Probably.

Neku doesn't so much _climb_ back down as tackle Joshua's head, spray-painted idea of a tail whacking Joshua in the jaw. Fucking - Joshua keeps a straight face, though barely.

"You know," says Sanae conversationally, and when did he come back in, "with a brand name like _Jupiter_ of the Monkey, you'd think you'd be bigger."

Neku hisses incoherently (if enthusiastically), and punctuates it with an impression of condensed rage. … His claws are mucking up Joshua's beautiful hair.

"Relax, dear," Joshua says, carefully prying him off his head, " _I_ think you're perfect." Perfectly travel-sized, he doesn't add, and Neku bites him. Joshua chuckles: guess that answers if Neku can read his Music back. He likely won't be happy about that later, but for now he's just relieved it worked.

Joshua holds him out, examining him as he bristles indignantly. At least he isn't trying to claw him up; Joshua supposes he must have _some_ self-preservation, and - ah. He whistles a quick fix, and a now-human Neku collapses on top of him.

"What the hell was that," Neku manages as he scrambles up, and Joshua shrugs.

"Some kind of reflexive self-defense measure, I expect," he replies. "Count yourself lucky it wasn't cured by true love's kiss."

"Yeah," he sighs, "because then we'd be out of luck."

It's just a joke, but Joshua feels stung anyway. … Well, he always knew Neku doesn't feel the same about him as he does about Neku. - and Neku's looking at him, concerned. "I for one could call this a day," Joshua says, a bit abrupt. "That was more excitement than I prefer."

"Yeah," Neku says, and he looks dead on his feet. (But still too alive to be convenient.) "Yeah, I honestly could sleep right here."

How far is too far … hm. "You could take the couch," Joshua edges out carefully, "though I must recommend against that since it's nearly Game week. I can't imagine you would enjoy being woken by … unforeseen visitors."

Neku blanches, more from the idea of a reaper finding him asleep than the reminder of Joshua's job. Curious. "Yeah, next option," he says, wincing.

As expected. "I do own a bed," Joshua states. "Or I could instead have you sent straight home, but …."

"Bed," Neku says. "Beds are nice." Joshua chuckles, not at all reassuringly, but Neku's too tired to give him more than a look.

Sanae winks at them, and Neku jumps like he forgot he was there. "I'm taking your couch, boss," he informs them, and would it kill him to _ask_ …. But then, he probably wouldn't be Sanae.

"Try not to wreck it too badly," is all Joshua says: "those cushions are new."

* * *

Joshua's never actually shown anyone his bedroom before, not that he uses it much himself, but he still feels a burst of pride when Neku stares at his bed in awe. Neku's family could probably fit their whole apartment on it.

 _It looks like it's out of a manga,_ Neku thinks, and Joshua tries to hide his laughter. Warping space is one of the perks of his job, and giving himself a truly ludicrous bed was a lot simpler than the trick with the fish tank.

Maybe he should remodel so he can see the fish in his bedroom - no, that would be silly. His plain blue walls and his ceiling that echoes what the sky above Scramble Crossing would be like with less light pollution are more than fine enough. (There used to be stars. There used to be stars, and as much as he loves what his city's become, he misses them sometimes.)

Joshua unbuttons his shirt without any drama and flops onto the exact middle of the bed, limbs sprawled to take up as much space as possible. Neku watches him and snickers: Joshua's glad to be entertaining, really, and there's still plenty of room for Neku. Neku, for his part, hesitantly removes his trousers and sits down in his boxers.

Ah. He should have expected this, really. "You," he enunciates carefully, "need sleep."

"And what about you?" Neku says, a bit warily. Not distrusting, Joshua judges, just aware that Joshua likes to keep him on his toes and too tired to do anything about it.

Joshua hums and pulls himself onto his side, smiling slightly. "I could use some rest myself," he admits, "and it can hardly hurt to make sure no lasting damage was done."

Neku makes a face. "Not that you'd tell me if there was," he mutters, flopping down to bury his head in a pillow.

"Such low expectations," Joshua says with a sigh, not at all insulted. It's often true, after all. "I'd tell you if I thought it would matter," he adds.

Neku's grumble shows exactly what he thinks of _that_. After a minute, he pulls himself up enough to watch Joshua, brow furrowed. "Do you even sleep?" he asks.

"Not as such, no," he admits. Some reapers do, but Joshua threw out that aspect of mortality as soon as he had the chance and never looked back. What are dreams compared to prescience? "I do need rest, however, and if I'm not here when you awake, you can call for me and I'll return."

"Okay," Neku says, maybe not thrilled but relieved Joshua doesn't have watching Neku sleep inked into his schedule.

"I do have other things to do, Neku," Joshua adds. "They can wait, but not forever."

Neku nods, carefully not thinking of specific _things_ Joshua might need to do. Joshua didn't think that would last, but it's a little disappointing all the same. "… You're reading my mind again," Neku comments, and it's not an accusation.

"I'm not sure how to stop," Joshua admits. "It's not intentional, I assure you."

Neku looks at him, weighing that, and Joshua tries his best to seem unruffled. It _isn't_ on purpose, and even if he sometimes doesn't try as hard not to as he could, he does try. (And Neku's leaving Shibuya soon, and - he needs to not think about this.) "… Okay," Neku decides. "I trust you. Just keep doing your best to not …."

Joshua waits.

"Try not to look at anything I'd want to be private, okay?" he settles on. "And keep letting me know when you're doing it."

Joshua salutes. That, he can do. And that reminds him …. "You may wish to inform Daisukenojo that you won't be back tonight," he comments, and Neku pales.

"God, yeah, I almost forgot -" he manages, scrambling to get his phone. Joshua sprawls back over the bed once Neku's not looking, and he makes a point of not listening to the text: it isn't his business, and Neku's back is rather pretty.

There's no clear evidence of what they'd done on the lower frequencies, nothing but a pale red irritation that'll likely be gone tomorrow, and Joshua tosses the visual over, just in case. Neku nods absently, a concern he hadn't thought to have lifting, and Joshua refrains from mentioning how much Neku rings like Joshua himself. Probably nothing to worry about: he can still follow Neku's own tune, and with any luck he'll stay that way.

Once Neku's done, he looks over at him fondly, and Joshua kind of wants to preen. He should have gotten this over with when he was an actual teenager; this is ridiculous. Well, too late now, and he throws a pillow at Neku's head.

Neku catches it and picks a spot on the bed, pulling one of the blankets up and onto himself. "You sleep with pants on?" he asks, and Joshua smirks.

"No, I usually prefer to go Au Naturel Puppy." He accompanies that with an eyebrow wiggle, because some puns deserve it.

Neku groans: that was terrible and Joshua is so, so proud. "How long did _that_ one take you?"

Joshua laughs. "Not long at all, Neku: it's a gift." He's feeling bold, and Neku seems amenable, so Joshua pulls himself up to be behind Neku and inches closer.

Neku watches him out of one eye, a bit wary, but Joshua just rests his chin on Neku's head. "Hi," Joshua says, dorkily and aware of it, as he sniffs Neku's hair. Some kind of hair gel, presumably: he could have guessed, but it's nice to know.

"… Hey," Neku replies, yawning. He really could go to sleep right now: he's most of the way there already, and Joshua can feel Neku reaching for his power for support. Joshua gives it gladly, pulling Neku close; whatever that binding requires, he'll do his best to carry out his half.

Neku might not need the imprint of calm and Joshua's trust for him, but Joshua sends it anyway, humming as Neku drifts off to sleep.


	6. Joshua Herds Some Cats

Joshua comes back to himself slowly, languishing in the sound of Shibuya and the plush of his blankets, even as he's aware that duty calls. Duty can wait, he thinks, and then he jerks: Neku. Hastily he suppresses his vibe, though he needn't have bothered, Shibuya chides him: Joshua is Shibuya's and Neku is Shibuya's and his district would hardly let him hurt him by accident. Still, he listens for any off notes, just in case, but Neku is fine.

Neku is better than fine, actually; Neku sounds more like Shibuya than he ever has, almost like he's a conductor already, and Joshua's … not proud, exactly, but something like it.

That might be something to inform him about, Joshua realises, but either Neku will notice or he won't; in this case, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, might even help.

Joshua really _should_ get up - Sanae needs him for something - but there's little he'd like to do less. Having someone asleep in his presence is rare enough to still be a novelty, and Neku doesn't stir at all as Joshua brushes his hair out of his eyes and pulls a blanket up to cover him properly. Joshua wasn't lying when he said he didn't sleep, but when Shibuya allows him to rest, he might as well not exist; Neku announces his presence firmly and decisively even unconscious.

And Sanae's threatening to use the couch as a scratching post again. Of course.

Joshua doesn't so much _get up_ as rewrite things so that he's presentable and walking back into the lounge with Neku none the wiser. The throne room is more practical for these matters, he knows, but he's enjoying acting below his station with no one to chastise him for it. Playing the composer in his ivory tower's more fun when he can _stop_ , and Sanae understands that better than anyone.

Sanae's in his Noise form again, each cat claiming a couch as a petty rebellion so that Joshua has nowhere to sit, but Joshua just snaps his fingers and dumps the lion into the fishtank. Sanae _yowls_ as the tiger pulls his other self back up, and Joshua's proudly sprawled on the couch without a care in the world.

Joshua hears Sanae try to upend the table while Joshua puts the floor to rights, but Sanae's no reaper - not anymore - and the only power he has here is what Joshua gives him.

"I believe that's check and mate," Joshua drawls, and Sanae reverts to his more humanoid form, though he still resembles a bit of a drowned cat.

"I was just testing you, boss," he says, shaking the water off and getting it all over the furniture. "You didn't have to go that far."

"I did tell you to mind the couch," Joshua complains, and they look at each other. They manage to keep a straight face for a full measure before laughing in unison, Sanae once again artfully disheveled and completely dry.

Joshua flops a hand over his face as Sanae goes to get them something to drink, both still chuckling and completely aware that once they get to what Sanae called him for, they won't want to. It doesn't matter.

Enjoy the moment while you've got it; you never know if you'll have another chance; and even if Sanae's popularity is less than deserved, there's some truth to that. Certainly Joshua has always been happier doing what he wants when he wants, and right now that appears to be listening to Sanae curse everything everyone else has ever done to the bar. Either of them could clean the coffee grinder with a thought, but it's the principle of the thing, and Yashiro and Minamimoto can never quite agree on how to keep it organised.

So of course Sanae decides to sort everything himself, even if he's the one who uses it least. He at least doesn't do so _by hand_ , and Joshua takes the time to work on some paperwork while Sanae procrastinates by making coffee to his exacting standards.

Sanae eventually passes him a cup and sits back down on the couch. "Needs more sugar," Joshua decides.

"You're just saying that, brat," Sanae replies, and he's completely correct. The nutmeg does enough on its own, but it's not like Joshua is ever going to tell him that. "You're lucky I didn't charge you."

"And remind me how I don't charge you rent?" Joshua arches an eyebrow. "You're lucky I consider us even."

"Hey, I helped you into this world," he snipes. "I can take you back out."

Joshua huffs. He could have taken over the Underground all by himself, thank you; it just would have taken longer than the scant two weeks between leaving the RG and becoming composer, never even needing to meet the other reapers. No form of promotion is more time-honoured than murdering one's predecessor, after all.

And Joshua sighs. If only if it were that straightforward for conductors; if only Joshua could just shoot Neku and be done with it. But no, Neku would never trust him again, and Joshua has had enough of conductors he can't _talk_ to. Megumi was a good man and an excellent conductor, but Joshua hardly even knew his _age_ , much less any of his interests, and not for lack of trying.

Neku … Neku would be different, and Joshua could use a change. A pity it takes so long.

Joshua downs the rest of his coffee and meanders over to the foosball table, idling turning one of the knobs. "… What are you going to tell Upstairs?" Joshua asks, in no mood to wait for Sanae to get to the point on his own. He'd like to get back to his nap, actually.

"What do you want me to tell them, boss?" he replies as he gets up to join him. Like what Joshua wants has any impact on it at all; Sanae will report what he wants to report, no more and no less, and they both know that. "Mostly that we're keeping a promising Shibuya winner with ties to the Game for Shibuya, and that he'll be out of our UG for long enough that this way'd save on points."

Joshua feels himself go off-key and winces, re-calibrating himself. It's just what Sanae will tell the Higher Plane, he knows, but … he hadn't run the numbers. Four years of a reaper of Neku's unpromoted level idling abroad, versus their energy expenditure today plus the barely-perceptible upkeep tying him to Neku … yeah, that might be right.

Why does Neku want to take so _long_? Joshua learned about the Underground and dived right in, out of the Realground at fifteen with no regrets, but Neku's considering - what, twenty-one? Twenty-two? _Twenty-two_ before he'll _probably_ be Joshua's conductor.

This is ridiculous.

"I don't like this," Sanae adds, following along with him. "Neku's a great kid and I like him too, but boss - I'm getting real tired of claiming Kariya's the Acting Conductor. _Please_ just pick a reaper."

"Promoting Kariya over Yashiro would upset their entire dynamic -"

"Then Yashiro," he states, flicking the ball into the goal. "I don't want anyone else to snipe Neku either, but we've set the record for not having an official conductor in Tokyo, and I'm already on thin ice. Please, boss."

"Yashiro isn't conductor material," he dismisses. Composer, yes, but never a conductor. Especially not if she knows it's a pity prize; Joshua prefers his assassination attempts to come from people who understand _on their own_ when to quit and regroup. "Yashiro and Kariya are doing perfectly well covering Game Master and conductor duties, and many districts combine the role already."

"But not in Tokyo," Sanae says, crossing his arms.

Joshua gives him a look. "Shibuya is in Tokyo, is it not? _I_ am the composer here, and Shibuya will play by My rules," he states. "Tell them that."

His producer stares at him, then laughs. "'course, boss," he says, saluting. "Whatever You want."

"Indeed." And Joshua vanishes, not bothering to dismiss him. He hears Sanae leave a moment later, though he'd be surprised if he doesn't come back: there's nothing he likes more than free entertainment, and Neku provides nothing if not that.

Neku's awake when Joshua returns, which he didn't expect, though perhaps he should have. "Can you … turn it down?" Neku mumbles, blearily trying to watch him as he slides back behind him.

It takes Joshua a moment to get his meaning: he must have raised his frequency while talking to Sanae. And yet Neku still knew he was there. Curious. He drops it back down, and Neku relaxes.

"Go back to sleep," Joshua advises, strengthening it with an imprint, and after a moment, Neku does.

Much better.


	7. Neku Becomes a Pet Owner

The first thing Neku notices when he wakes up is that he can't move his legs.

The second thing Neku notices is that he has no idea where he is.

The _third_ thing Neku notices is that the reason he can't move his legs is that _there's a freaking wolf the size of a bus sprawled around him_. He can't help it: he freaks.

But the wolf - dog; it's a dog; the face is all wrong to be a wolf - jumps up too, startled, and what a way to go: eaten by a giant dog Noise. Only … it's not attacking, just watching him. Watching him like a dog would puppies, even, not sure if it'll need to carry him off. What.

What's wrong? Joshua says, and that would be more reassuring if he _knew where Joshua was_.

"Um," explains Neku, and he feels Joshua shifting through his thoughts, and he would be irritated if it wasn't _really fucking appreciated_ right now.

Oh, says Joshua, and he laughs. He actually laughs, the bastard, and Neku is probably going to die and it's going to be all his fault and - oh. The dog's watching him with some kind of doggy smirk, ears perked up and tail wagging like it's a competition, and it lies back down and _licks_ him, long and methodical. He did not need dog saliva all over his - huh, it doesn't actually leave him wet, though he suspects his hair's a mess. Yes, Neku, Joshua says patiently, I am the dog.

So Joshua is the dog.

"You are the dog," Neku echoes, and it finally sinks in. _That's_ Joshua? He would have thought - no, okay, he didn't think; it never occurred to him that Joshua might have a Noise form just like a lot of the reapers did, but if it had, he doesn't think he would've thought a dog. Now that he knows to look for it, that smirk _is_ Joshua all over, and its fluffy golden mane resembles his hair more than a bit. It almost looks like a lion dog, actually, and maybe that does make sense. He. _He_ looks like a lion dog; if the Noise is Joshua, Neku should treat him like it.

He's still watching Neku, he realises, waiting to make sure Neku doesn't freak back out. Bit of a thing to just throw him into, but Neku can imagine that conversation - _hey, I can turn into a giant dog; does that bother you?_ \- and this might actually be less awkward.

"So," says Neku, still adjusting, "do you fetch?"

No, says Joshua, mock offended, but I am rather fetching, don't you think?

"I think I prefer dogs that can fit through doors," he replies, and Joshua wuffles. Is he - he _is_ giving Neku the puppy eyes, and it's a bit more effective when he doesn't look near as smug, so long as Neku forgets that Joshua is large enough to swallow him whole. … Which reminds him. "So why was I tiny?"

It's not the size of the boat that matters, explains Joshua, very seriously, but the motion of the ocean. Neku flips him off, because that's really the only thing he can say to that, and Joshua settles back down around Neku. It might be because you're still alive. Your physical body _could_ be constraining your imagination. Or …

"Or …?"

… or you're just pocket-sized, he concludes. Sorry for your loss.

Asshole. "Bad dog," he chides, brandishing a finger, and Joshua woofs. "Are dogs even allowed on the furniture?"

Joshua stares at him, unamused, and very deliberately places a paw on Neku's head. Sit, boy. That does explain the ridiculous bed, though: it's just big enough to let Joshua stretch out without having anything hang off, though of course Joshua's curled up around him right in the center. All the space in the world, and he leaves Neku with none of it. Predictable.

Joshua nudges Neku closer to him (augh, wet dog nose; why is Joshua always so _cold_ ) and rolls over a little, exposing his pale and fluffy belly. Pet me, Joshua commands.

He does look pretty soft, but this is still a bit too bizarre for Neku. "Do you always need so much attention?" Joshua wuffles again in dismay. "Fine, okay, you're so picky."

Joshua's fluffiness seems to be proportional to a real dog, because Neku has to put most of his arm through his fur to reach the - skin, he supposes, or just where the Noise is more solid. He moans in pleasure whenever Neku scritches a particularly nice spot, which is a little disturbing, but probably less so than when he's moaning over health drinks. (That's just weird.) After a bit, Neku climbs up to try to find that spot on Joshua's thigh that usually makes the dogs he's seen kick, which turns out almost as annoying as getting a frayed cord to stop buzzing, the correct angle changing as soon as he thinks he's found it.

Neku's pretty sure Joshua keeps imprinting suggestions of where to scratch next, but it's subtle and harmless and anyway, Neku doesn't really mind.

You're just going to have to do that forever, Joshua informs him as he scratches behind his ears, Neku's legs around his neck. Joshua's big enough to ride, and Neku entertains the thought of going down Udagawa on a giant dog.

"Maybe if you get me a saddle," Neku quips, and - augh, Joshua's thinking about it, and not in the way he'd meant. He did not need that mental image. "… I'm getting you a dog house just so I can lock you in it."

You're very cruel. And _Joshua_ sure is one to talk, but his tail's still wagging and Neku might actually be stuck. Too much hair. Joshua shakes his head and deposits him back by his belly, though, and this … this is a nice way to spend one of his last mornings in Shibuya.

Joshua goes silent and perfectly still. What did - … ah. "You know I'm coming back, right? It's not even that far."

Of course I know, Joshua says derisively, nudging Neku with his elbow back into his fluff. Neku's tired of petting him, though, and just leans into it. Joshua would be the world's most comfortable pillow if it was possible to get him to _shut up_.

"So you don't need to worry so much," Neku adds.

I'm not, and that's such bullshit Neku could laugh. He woofs indignantly as punctuation; sure, Joshua, okay, you're not worried. He just … did some kind of questionable magic that seems to have left Neku with the ability to scan him again. But he's not worried.

Joshua growls, long and low, and it'd be a bit unsettling even if Neku couldn't feel him rumbling. Maybe he should lay off a little.

Joshua turns to look at him, and his ears are drooping. I'm not going to hurt you, he says, a bit wounded, and maybe he doesn't plan to, but Neku doesn't exactly trust him enough to test his temper. Joshua's shot him twice already, after all.

Joshua wuffles again and licks him. I don't want you to go, he admits, and yeah, Neku's already figured that much out.

"I'm going," Neku says, and Joshua nods.

I know you are, and he lightly butts his head against him. I know you are, and I won't stop you, but - isn't Shibuya enough? And Neku's trying to think of a response, of how it isn't about not liking Shibuya as about needing to expand his world, but Joshua continues: I love you; please come back.

Something about how he plans on coming back's on his tongue before the first part of that registers. Neku doesn't breathe for a moment; Joshua pulls his head back, sure he's done something wrong.

"You don't get to say that," Neku forces out eventually, pulling himself up. "I like you, and you're my friend, but the people who love me don't use me like you did. And they definitely don't _keep_ manipulating me like you do."

I haven't - And Joshua's scrambling to sit up, head low.

"How long have you been sitting on wanting me as your conductor?" Neku snaps. "Days? Months? Years? Was Kitaniji even dead before you thought, _hey! You know that kid whose life I messed with? Yeah, I want him to help me kill people!_ "

That isn't - he starts, but Neku can hear the answer: it wasn't even a week after the Game before Joshua thought of it. God, at least he didn't erase Kitaniji just to make a job opening, but is this really that much better? Oops, killed my first conductor; now I need a new one?

Neku opens his mouth to say more, but Joshua's already bounding off the bed and out the door.

Shit.

* * *

Joshua's long gone by the time Neku convinces himself to put his clothes back on and try heading home, which isn't a surprise. What _is_ a surprise is that Mr Hanekoma's still on the couch when Neku heads out there, hands steepled and with a tumbler of something on the table in front of him.

(There's also a ton of stuffing scattered about, and the couch looks like some kind of large animal clawed it up, but that's something else and Neku's not sure what to do with that. Ignore it, probably.)

"Neku," Hanekoma says, serious, and Neku really doesn't want to talk to him, either. Neku'd looked up to him, but he's starting to think that as far as Hanekoma and Joshua are concerned, with friends like these, who needs enemies? But Hanekoma isn't really giving him the choice. "What the hell did you do?"

"What, Joshua didn't tell you?" he drawls, and maybe it's a bit cruel, but he doesn't care right now.

Hanekoma glares at him over the top of his glasses, predatory. "No, actually, _he didn't_ , seeing as he was too busy panicking to even notice I'd done a bit of redecorating before he left. So _what did you do?_ "

And there's a lump in his throat - he didn't want to hurt him, but - no, Joshua isn't the wronged party here. "Ask him yourself," Neku growls. "He's your friend, isn't he?"

"Neku -" he starts, but Neku's already gone.

* * *

Neku manages to get back home without really thinking about any of it, and it's not until he's automatically getting ready for a shower that he realises that actually, he doesn't smell like the sewers at all. Convenient, if a little weird, but noticing that just means he thinks about Joshua and auuuugh.

God. Joshua. He almost wants to call Beat, but Beat's got work today, and Shiki and Eri're setting up for a show. That leaves … not a lot of options.

His phone vibrates, and even with him pretty sure about who it'd be, he checks it anyway. Neku? Can we talk? Joshua sends, and Neku really, really doesn't want to.

I guess. So long as he sticks with texts, anyway; Neku really doesn't want to hear Joshua's voice right now, and god - he hopes he stays out of Neku's head. Please may Neku at least not have to deal with that bullshit today; that really would be the last straw.

I truly did not mean to hurt you. I am sorry.

Of course you are. He's not sorry; he's sorry he got caught.

I was not trying to manipulate you into being a replacement for Megumi. And Neku doesn't have a response for that, so he just waits. I simply … I liked being your Partner, did you know? We worked well together, and I liked hanging out with you. It was … nice.

And then you shot me AGAIN so i guess you didnt like it too much!

I regretted it. And that's not the same thing as an apology, but …. I really was going to destroy Shibuya, even after you failed to shoot me.

But you didn't. Neku doesn't want to ask _why_ , doesn't even want to be talking to Joshua right now, but maybe he needs to know if he's going to determine if there's any point in hanging out with Joshua at all.

Killing you the second time was the first thing I regretted, Neku, the very first. I had won thoroughly, even Sanae was just waiting for me to go through with it, but it didn't feel like there would be any point. I won, Neku, but I didn't expect you to do what you did, and I felt … guilty, a little.

… is this an apology? It's years after he'd stopped expecting one, but -

Joshua replies immediately: No. Neku should really put his phone away, but something keeps him watching. Morbid curiosity, probably. I don't regret what I did. I don't think anything else would have worked to make me a different person. But I can promise that I won't do it again.

Ill hold you to that. And Joshua can take that how he'd like; Neku's going to take a nap, and then he'll get dinner with Beat, and he's not going to have anything to do with Joshua until … next week, probably.

* * *

One of the upsides of taking a nap is then he's got a perfectly good excuse to redo his hair, and he rinses out what's left of the gel so he can restyle it. His family's not home, which wouldn't have stopped him anyway but means he avoids the conversation, and after a fight like that, Neku wants to feel hot as hell and like he doesn't care who knows it.

… though Beat might end up feeling a bit underdressed. Hmmm. Eh, Neku can just drop him a note.

I'm dressing up today. You dont have to if you dont want to but i thought you should know. There we go, considerate friend duties accounted for.

Neku ruffles through his closet, towards the back where he put all the things he'd gotten during the Game. One of the highlights of the Game - one of the things he really, truly would not have gotten anywhere else - is that invisibility meant he could wear whatever the hell he wanted without worrying about what people would think. It's funny that now that he actually tries to connect to people, he can finally shut down that voice going on about propriety, but there you go. People are strange.

Most of the Lapin Angelique and Natural Puppy just reminds him of Joshua, which no, not today, but … hm. D+B doesn't quite do the thing he's looking for … ah, there's the Dragon Lady he'd picked up. Bright reds and yellows, perfect to go with his hair. Everyone is going to know exactly where he is and he is going to own it.

He looks at his hair in the mirror. Leaving it unstyled just isn't his thing, and his usual spikes'd clash with this outfit, but … ah, there we go. He can style it so it goes down and out, kind of like a mane, and with some bangs … there, perfect. He takes out his phone and snaps a few pictures, sending them to Shiki: she'd definitely appreciate it.

Neku might not know all that much about fashion, but he can tell when he looks good, and damn.

It does mean that Neku won't be able to go to Beat's place, but they'd already arranged a while ago that they'd meet in Miyashita Park, just in case of things like that. Beat's parents have been getting on Rhyme's case about her being old enough that she needs to wear dresses, though Beat's been staunchly on her side and all it's _really_ meant is that the moment they're not paying attention, Rhyme changes back into the clothes she actually likes.

Life's too short to do what other people want you to do. Enjoy the moment.

Beat's breathless for a second when he sees Neku sitting on a park bench like he owns it, legs together and an arm over the back.

"Wow," Beat says, and then repeats, "wow. You said dressed up, but - damn."

Neku grins, then stands up and gives him a peck on the cheek. Beat flushes red, but he's happy. "Thanks," Neku says, and Beat nods hesitantly.

Beat himself's wearing long pants and a red jacket, the sort of thing that looks cheap and casual if you don't know how to recognise Wild Boar quality, and he's skipped the hat and put his hair in a ponytail today. He looks … honestly, he looks amazing, and Neku tells him as much. (Neku leaves out that he looks totally different without his hat on; Beat _loves_ his hat and it's not Neku's place to judge.)

Dinner's pretty straightforward, Ken Doi's latest ramen experiment for Neku and some off-the-menu curry for Beat, and while Neku kind of wonders when Beat'd made friends with him, it'd invite the topic of why Mr Doi knows _Neku_ and he's not up for that today. The food's delicious as ever and thankfully no one Neku recognises in a bad way's eating there today, so Neku can listen to Beat talk about his latest comedy sketches and skateboard tricks in peace.

(Pinky walks past outside, and Neku knows without looking that Lollipop recognised them and pulled her off to get dinner somewhere else. It's strange, but he doesn't think too much of it; he can sense Joshua's presence, so why not some of the reapers? And at least they're leaving him alone.)

It's nice, and neither of them want to broach any potentially-messy subjects on what might be the last chance they have in a while to do this. Neku might only be across town, but that still means they'd have to _plan_ things, and he's going to have to keep building up his portfolio …. It's easy to start putting people out of mind once you're not seeing them every day, and while they're all going to try their best, Neku's already seeing this with Shiki.

Something of what he's thinking must have shown on his face, though, since Beat grins at him and holds out a fist. Neku smirks back and bumps it.

It'll work out.


	8. Neku Breaks a Leg

Joshua doesn't show up when Neku half-heartedly looks for him. Neku could probably call him, but he's planning to visit Shibuya again on the weekend, once he's started to get settled: he might have his bags packed and ready, but no one ever travels without forgetting something, and maybe he'll feel up to bringing the rest of his stuff over. He just hopes he doesn't forget anything he won't be able to get back.

Neku even tries checking at WildKat despite his better judgement, but it's closed. Guess Mr Hanekoma doesn't want his business while he and Joshua are - not fighting, exactly, but something like it. Too bad.

Beat and Shiki give him a hug at Hachiko. "Best of luck, dude," Beat says, and Neku grins.

"Call us when you get settled and we'll throw you a housewarming party, okay?" says Shiki, and she looks a little sad, but it's the good kind of sad. He'll be back. He isn't even going too far to visit easily.

"Sounds good," Neku says. "I'll let you know how it goes."

He's never been good at farewells, but this isn't one, really. Beat ruffles his hair and Shiki makes sure he doesn't forget anything, and it's nice.

A pity Joshua didn't come to see him off, but that's that guy's problem and Neku isn't surprised. Just disappointed.

Neku manages to get a seat, which is rare, and it's while the train's crowded as ever, which is basically unheard of. But now that he's thinking of it, people've been giving him a wide berth lately in general. It's kind of weird. Not in the same way as they gave him space during the Game, but not far from it, either. Huh.

The weird shit just gets weirder when Neku realises that he's aware of _exactly_ when they cross over from Shibuya to Shinjuku: the faint melody he's heard for long enough to not even notice it anymore switches tempo and key, though if you asked him what it was before, he wouldn't be able to tell you. The crowd closes in around him immediately after; maybe it's a Shibuya thing. He'll have to ask Hane - he'll have to ask Joshua about it, whenever he's talking to him again.

( _If_ they end up talking again; Neku suspects Joshua might be the kind to hold grudges. This … could get messy.)

Finding the dorms in Nerima is easier than he thought it might be: he hasn't been here much, but his intuition for these things is pretty good. Not as good as in Shibuya, of course, where he can often guess where the traffic's backed up without checking (and he kind of doubts he could do that _before_ the Game), but he keeps his destination in mind and lets his autopilot handle the rest.

At least he hasn't seen any signs of Players yet. Does the Game even work the same outside of Shibuya? He hopes he won't have to find out, but with his luck …. Joshua was probably just paranoid; there was never any chance he'd accept Neku leaving his territory with grace, and, well, he didn't. So much for that.

Getting his room and moving in's a bit of a hassle, but he manages. Too bad he couldn't bring his keyboard with him the first trip: he's a bit in the mood to compose something. Oh well. At least he's got his sketchbook.

… He forgot dental floss. That should at least be easy enough to fix.

I got here okay. Just letting you know, Neku texts Beat, Shiki, and Joshua, and it's not really a surprise that Joshua doesn't reply.

* * *

Classes start on Monday, and Neku hopes he's ready. He's as ready as he's going to be, anyway, and most of the people on his floor have moved in. No one he knew already, which is no surprise, but Neku isn't sure how to feel about it. It makes sense, though: the commute from Shibuya to Geidai's pretty easy; Neku just had the money and inclination to move out.

It'll be fine. There's probably plenty of people with interests like his here. He won't be isolated, and if he gets too lonely, he can just head back to Shibuya and hang out with his friends there. Or they can come to him: it's not like he's in the middle of nowhere, and he needs to get familiar with the area anyway. _Actually_ familiar, that is, not just relying on his (un)natural direction sense.

So it's with that in mind that he heads over to Ueno Park to look around campus and find somewhere to paint. The cherry blossoms aren't blooming yet, which might've been disappointing, but hey: fewer people. He'll take it.

He's just about through his gesture warm-ups when a girl runs up to him with obvious relief on her face. "Hey, finally caught you," she says in an obvious Kansai accent. "D'you know where the game's gonna be?"

He looks at her with honest confusion. "What?" he says, and something about her's really familiar. Oh, he's seen her on his floor.

She watches him meaningfully, but when he still doesn't get it, she sighs. "I could've sworn - sorry to bug you, dude, got you mixed up with somebody else."

… wait, is she a _reaper_? "Wait, actually -"

" _The hell are you doing here, Shibuya!_ " another woman booms, and okay, that was _definitely_ from the UG. Kansai Girl jumps, and - yeah, that answers that.

Neku'd really like to pretend he didn't notice, but he gets the feeling that'd just get him in more trouble. "I go to university here," he says, and he's not going to be happy if he gets a reputation for talking to thin air _before classes even start_.

The UG woman glares at him, hands on her hips and wings out intimidatingly, and from the size of them, Neku'd guess he's been here two days and has already pissed off an officer. The next Game Master, his intuition - or maybe the Music - fills in, only promoted three Games ago, but with the determined patience of a potter, she's probably one who'll last. "Nobody said jack shit about some dumbass newbie officer dropping by, Shibuya. Go home."

Fucking - did Joshua not streamline this at _all_?! "I'm not even dead," Neku snaps. "Did the -" - wait, this isn't Shibuya; it's not a given - "- _my_ composer say anything at all?" God, and the reaper girl's looking between them like she's not sure which way to jump, but either way she's probably going to get eaten. What a way to start the year.

"All I got here's something about a former winner they've got plans for," she states, brandishing her phone like Neku can change what's on it. "And how they'll trade a few favours so long as we keep our hands off." She adds in a mutter, though clearly intending for him to hear it, "not that anyone even _cares_ about stealing people's winners; they're hardly ever worth the hassle."

"I think that'd be me," Neku says. He can't imagine who else it'd be. "I could call him, if it'd help." … And if he thought Joshua might actually pick up.

And the pissy GM's staring at him like he grew a second head. Great. "You know your composer's phone number?"

"Yeah? He's freaking glued to his phone."

She keeps staring at him, then shakes her head. "Right, whatever. Look, kid, I know Game winners. Half the professors worth their salt are Game winners. _You_ are something else, and I don't appreciate some asshole trying to lie to me when I've got a Game to plan tomorrow. I get plenty of that shit in my day job, and I'm actually _paid_ for that."

Neku has no idea what to say to that, but the girl's got her hand up like she's in class. "Excuse me, sir?" she says, waving her arm, and the GM looks at her. "Where do I go for the Game tomorrow?"

"You the wall reaper from the boonies?" she says, all business now.

She winces a little. "Yeah, I, uh, I always wanted to see Tokyo -"

"Check your phone tomorrow morning for your assignment. Shouldn't conflict with your classes or nothing. - You do have a phone, right?"

The wall reaper rolls her eyes. "I'm _rural_ , not _backwards._ "

"Right, whatever." She glares at Neku again, a bit deflated. "You still gonna be around tomorrow?"

"Should be, yeah. I got class." And he doesn't care _how_ many reapers are mad about it: he's going.

"Right, well, I'm gonna ask the conductor about you, and if you're lying, you'll regret it. This ain't Shibuya, you hear? So let me get your name down …."

"Neku Sakuraba," he says clearly, though he's not sure if he really wants them to be able to look him up. Eh, they can probably just listen for him again. Thanks, Joshua. "That's Sakuraba as in cherry garden; Neku as in sound manipulation."

"That is the fakest name I ever heard," she states, but Neku just shrugs. Appropriate as it is, it's still his name. She stares at him, then shrugs in defeat. "Right, well, I'll see you tomorrow, brat, and hopefully _you_ never, Shibuya," she says, and she vanishes before the wall reaper can even get in a bow.

"She seemed friendly!" the wall reaper chirps. Neku gives her a dark look. "I hadn't actually met a Game Master before: we don't have them where I'm from."

"Oh?" says Neku, interested despite himself. It's never going to matter. He's not going to need to know about other Games, because he's going to stay in the Realground doing RG things. And if he believes that, he's got a bridge to sell.

She rubs her neck. "Yeah, well, my hometown's small enough we just got a composer, conductor, and a few harriers. We don't even bother with wall reapers, haha. Don't get enough points, you know?"

Neku shakes his head. "Nope." And he shouldn't even care: those 'points' were _Players_.

"Well, you kind of need a certain number of Players going through the Game to keep the reapers going, or else we'll all end up erased and then it's bad news bears," she says pragmatically. "I got demoted when I came down here so I'd have more time for homework, but the only reason that works is they get enough people going through that they can support some more bottom feeders. Back home, it gets tricky when we just have one more harrier than usual. … Though I guess the boss might give away my spot now, considering."

Huh. This is all very interesting, but Neku has some grass to watch grow. … And she's watching him, a bit disappointed. "Why are you even telling me this?" he says eventually.

"You might not be a reaper, but you're still clearly part of the Game, you know?" She sighs. "And I'm new here, and -"

"I don't kill people," Neku interrupts. "And no matter what J - what my composer's thinking, I don't want to, either."

"They'd die anyway," she says, brushing it off with one hand. "Least this way some of us get a second chance."

Reapers. Neku gives her a disparaging glance, then turns back to his painting, hoping she'll get the hint.

God, he hopes this doesn't turn out to be representative of his time at university.


	9. Neku Regrets His Newfound Optimism

_Sorry about the odd posting time; it refused to upload last night, haha. Also, reviews would be appreciated :B I just like to know people are reading, okay._

* * *

It does. Of course it does. _Thank you,_ Joshua.

Neku's halfway through his first class before he finally figures out what's wrong: he's been hearing the background noise of other people's thoughts. He got used to it during the Game, and then he had to get used to being alone in his own head afterward, and then … it slowly came back, he supposes, as he hung around with Joshua. Never clear enough that he noticed, just enough to judge the mood of a crowd, the mood of the city, but he's listening to his art history professor and he realises he hears her musings about what she's going to have for lunch today and which students she can already tell will be trouble just as clearly as he hears her explain the material.

God. How long has _that_ been going on? It can't have been long, can it, that he'd be scanning people completely by accident, without even _noticing_ , and it's not like he's going to _do_ anything with it -

\- but he's turning into _Joshua,_ or something like it, and -

\- he feels sick.

He'd known that sometimes when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back, that the last possible way to get some distance was to reach his hand out and let the abyss take it, and this metaphor's getting away from him, but Joshua was _lonely_ and _his friend_ and leaving him to wallow by himself would - would have been wrong.

Despite everything Joshua'd done, it would have been wrong.

Not without giving him a chance, to squander or make good with as he wills, and Neku _likes_ Joshua. Likes him enough to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume this wasn't on purpose, but Neku knows Joshua well enough that even if he didn't _mean_ to do this, Joshua sure as hell wouldn't be _disappointed_. Joshua might not even help him try to _fix_ this, and that's -

Neku feels sick.

He sticks it out through class, even manages to get some decent notes, then finds a quiet-ish spot on campus to turn on his phone and try calling Joshua.

It goes straight to voice mail, because of course it does. The _one time_ Neku wants to talk to Joshua, and he can't reach him. Brilliant.

Neku hangs up without leaving a message. If Joshua's avoiding him, then fuck him. Just … fuck him.

He momentarily considers calling Hanekoma about it, but no. Talking to Hanekoma isn't much better than talking to Joshua; at least Joshua doesn't try to be nice about it. Sigh.

He gives himself around ten minutes to sit around feeling sorry for himself, then pulls himself together, shuts his phone back off, and heads off to his next class. Gotta keep moving.

He'll see his friends this weekend, anyway.

* * *

That evening, Neku receives a text from an unknown number.

`Your composer vouched for you. Enjoy your classes. - Ueno District's GM Sawada`

Gee. Thanks.

* * *

Most of the rest of the week is uneventful, though the reaper girl introduces him to what seems like half the musicians in his building, out of what might be small town nosiness and what might be familiar old attempts to curry favour with people who might end up your boss. Turns out she's studying conducting, and he can't help it: he bursts out laughing, though neither of them explain the joke.

No matter her motives, they seem friendly, and one of them agrees to let him borrow her keyboard until he can bring his own over.

He's never been the most sociable, but it's nice, to meet people and not have to worry about when anything bad'll happen. He can handle it, whatever it is, and if he can't, then his friends will help him; all he needs to do is get through this. It would be easier if he could focus on someone without starting to scan them, but so long as he's always in groups -

\- no, it's still surprisingly difficult, like balancing books on your head as you go about your day, but he'll figure this out. Right?

* * *

Thursday evening, as he works on his color theory homework, his phone rings. It's Beat's ringtone, and he's tempted to leave it and call back once he's done, but he sets his brush down (in the water cup, _not_ in the coffee cup; he is trying to be careful about it) and picks it up.

"Hey," Beat says hurriedly, like he's under real strain, "I got some priss kid here who asked me to call you. You wanna talk to him? I can tell him to piss off, if you want."

… priss kid? "No, but put him on anyway."

Some muffled chatter, and … "Neku?" says Joshua, and the asshole actually sounds _concerned_.

"Why the fuck have you been avoiding me?" Neku snaps. ("Neku -") "The moment I leave Shibuya," ("- Neku -") "the moment I'm doing something for myself that's exactly not what you want," ("- Neku -") "you stop talking to me, and I keep _scanning people_ , Joshua, _this is not supposed to happen_ ," and Joshua thankfully now waits for Neku to finish. "So what the hell is your problem?"

"Neku," he says again, and if Neku had a 5 yen coin for every time Joshua said his name, he'd be one lucky fucker. "I wasn't avoiding you."

" _Then why didn't you return my calls_? I texted you! Multiple times!"

A pause. Neku is really fucking tempted to just hang up; he would deserve it. "I didn't charge my phone," Joshua admits, a bit sheepish.

That … actually makes sense. Sort of. "What do you mean, you didn't charge it?" Neku says. "You're on it _all the time_."

"But it isn't charged," Joshua says, and Neku suspects he's probably extremely interested in the ceiling right now. "I've never charged it."

The fuck? "You're on it _all the time_ ," Neku says again.

"Neku, I have _never_ charged my phone. I didn't even know I needed to," he says, earnest, and this is the kind of bullshit Neku can almost believe. Anything else, he'd be sure Josh is lying, but this is absurd enough to be true. "I thought _you_ were avoiding _me_ ," and from the way he says it … Neku almost thinks he might be scared.

Well. Neku'd yelled at him, was very clearly still irritated with him when he'd made the worst attempt at an apology Neku has ever seen, and then if none of Neku's messages got through …. Neku can see it, Joshua not showing up to watch him go out of some misguided attempt to not make him even _more_ angry, because anyone could tell Joshua's deeply bothered by Neku leaving Shibuya. Even the Ueno GM thought he was acting weird, and she's never even met the guy.

Yeah, Neku can see it; the only thing he _doesn't_ see is why he'd go to Beat for help. "So then, all those times I called or texted you …."

"Yes," he says simply.

"You use your composer powers to run your phone."

"Yes," like it's Neku's fault he hadn't realised. Like it's Neku's fault that _anyone_ would ever _not_ run their phones through their weird dead god powers, honestly, Neku, do you think he has all day?

Neku bursts out laughing, a bit from stress, but mostly because _what the hell_. "You're the weirdest guy I know, you know."

"Am I?" Joshua scoffs. "Did you know most people have to _memorise numbers_ to call people? It's completely ridiculous."

Neku rubs at his head with his other hand. "No, Josh, they put them in the address book," he corrects, then sighs. "So are you saying you don't even _have my number_?"

"Why would I? I decide that I want to grace you with my wit, and then I do. But with you out in the Realground outside Shibuya …."

"… you would have to actually call me," Neku finishes.

A shifting sound that Neku assumes is a nod, and then a quiet, "yes." And louder: "It's never mattered before."

"I've never been living outside Shibuya before," Neku replies, and from Joshua's answering silence, he can tell Joshua's aware of that, thank you very much for reminding him, he _hadn't noticed_. "… Joshua," Neku says, serious, and Joshua hums a _go on_. "Some weird shit's been happening since we - since the thing."

"The thing?" he echoes. "Oh. Yes. That." He hums, or maybe sighs. "I don't really know much about that. You'd have to ask Mr H, unfortunately. He should be back tomorrow, assuming he's not executed for treason."

"… 'Executed?'" No one ever tells Neku anything, and he said this so lightly, like it doesn't even matter.

"Oh, well, you know," Joshua says vaguely, and Neku _really doesn't_ , thanks. "It won't happen; anyone can tell we used strictly human means to persuade you, and anyway, if they let him live after that mess in …." He trails off.

"… That mess in …?"

"You'll have to ask him about it," Joshua says briskly, and Neku doubts he's letting this slip unintentionally. Hanekoma is keeping something from Neku, something important, and Joshua isn't exactly happy about it. " _Anyway,_ Sanae's done much worse than this with nothing more than a slap on the wrist and a few death threats, and he'll be back tomorrow safe and sound. You'll have to ask him then, because I quite frankly don't know what to tell you."

… reassuring. "Great, thanks," Neku says. "… Can you put Beat back on?"

"In a moment," Joshua says, and he actually sounds a bit awkward. "If you decide that you wish to hear my dulcet tones again …."

"Yeah?"

"… try dialing me from the UG; your local reapers should put it through, and once the connection's established, it'll last into the Realground, at least for a little while."

"Huh," says Neku, because what else do you say to that? "… I don't know how to get into the UG."

"I'll teach you when you get back," he offers. "Until then, you could have a reaper do it; it'll work just as well, though I'll have to adjust my voice. … Be safe, Neku."

"You too," Neku replies, "and it was nice talking to you."

Joshua huffs, and there's a few clunking sounds as he hands the phone back.

"Hey, Phones," Beat says, and Neku lights up just at his voice. "Your friend's a real asshole."

"He is," Neku agrees fondly. "But he's _my_ asshole."

A moment. "Uh."

"… That … didn't come out the way I wanted it to."

Beat snickers. "Yeah, uh, I sure hope not. How've you been?"

Neku tells him about his week, about his classes and the reaper girl and even a little about the scanning shit, though that means Neku has to tell him more about Joshua, and that's - awkward. Not that Neku ever intentionally keeps this stuff from him, but the thing with Joshua doesn't even entirely make sense to _Neku_ ; explaining it to someone else would be completely hopeless.

"That sounds like a lot of shit," Beat says, once Neku's done. "I can punch him again for you, if you want."

"Nah, I'm good," but then it registers: "wait, _again_?" Beat's silent, which is a bit worrying. "Beat," Neku sighs.

"Look," he says, awkward, and Neku can picture him scratching his neck, "you'd told me he's the guy who killed you the first time, and then he was telling me about being the comp - the head honcho, and I kinda …."

Oh hell. "Please tell me he wasn't pissed," Neku checks. Joshua is obnoxious at the best of times, but a Joshua in a foul mood could do a _lot_ of damage ….

"Nah, he was kinda …." Beat trails off. "I don't know how to say this, but I … think he liked it," and Beat sounds so embarrassed that Neku kind of wishes he could pat him on the back.

 _Hell_. "I'm gonna kill him," Neku states. "I'm gonna revive him somehow, and then I'm gonna kill him, and he's gonna deserve it." Beat laughs awkwardly. "I am _so sorry_ you had to deal with that."

"Nah, it wasn't that bad," Beat says. "I got the impression he was trying real hard not to be a jerk, but …"

"… he's a big enough jerk that it doesn't help," Neku finishes. "Yeah, that's Josh all right."

"Better you than me," Beat says frankly. "I don't know how you stand it."

"I don't always," Neku admits. "So how've you been holding up?"

"Not bad, not bad. Work's same as always, but you know. Rhyme's been staying with me most nights this week. The 'rents've been in a mood with you gone and me moving out, so …."

They chat for a while, Neku sticking on a headset so he can go back to his homework, and as good as it is to talk to his classmates, this is what he needed, to know that somebody _gets it_ , and even if he's been gone hardly any time at all, this weekend can't come fast enough. When they finally hang up, Neku feels warm and loved and like everything will work out somehow.

He'll get through it. Even the weird supernatural stuff, it'll all work out and he'll be fine some way or another. His friends will make sure of it.


	10. Neku Has Insufficient Data

On Saturday, Neku takes the train back to Shibuya: maybe they're all planning on a housewarming party, but it still feels like it'd be more polite to pick his stuff up. And anyway, Joshua'll be thrilled. Probably.

It can't hurt to occasionally do what Joshua wants, but Neku's sure not going to revolve his life around him. It's no good for Neku, and it's probably no good for Joshua, either: that guy needs to get used to being told no. And he _definitely_ isn't going to head back to Shibuya each weekend. That's just flat out not going to happen.

Neku zones out most of the way on the train, only perking up as he crosses each district border, but the moment he hits Shibuya, his phone starts vibrating and doesn't stop for a solid minute. Wow, that is a _lot_ of texts.

Mostly from Joshua, to no surprise, but he's not the only reaper who'd nudged him. K. Kariya and U. Yashiro apparently tried to spam him with photos of food, but the names don't ring a bell until he finds a selfie where Lollipop'd just dumped a bowl of ramen over Pinky's head, and then an S. Hashimoto asked him like a bolt from the blue for the names of the inventors of tin pin. Seriously now? He'd thought he'd had enough of that nonsense during the Game.

Neku flips through them all, looking for blackmail material more than anything else, and shakes his head.

`Try not to die of boredom away from a proper shopping district.`

`Make sure to visit the museums while you're there. They're probably a waste, but you might learn something.`

`Jupiter of the Monkey's sales are down. Good riddance.`

`Kariya won't play me in Tin Pin anymore. He's too old to be such a sore loser.`

… and so on and so forth, Joshua having apparently tried to send him whatever occurred to him at the time until eventually descending to random photos of clouds and food and crimes against fashion. Neku's not sure if he's touched or weirded out; does Joshua have other friends? There has to be other people he can send these things to.

He considers actually responding to any of it, but instead just pulls out a candy bar and snaps a photo, sending it to Joshua and Kariya. It might be petty spam, but -

\- Kariya replies with a picture of some bean paste. This means _war_.

By the time Neku gets off the train, he's out of ideas of what to text Kariya. And Joshua: he's CCing him each time even if he's no idea if Joshua's reading them. It's only fair.

Neku'll kill Joshua (or … not … kill him, whatever) if this eats up his data plan. Just on principle.

His friends aren't there to meet him, which disappoints him more than it should, but a large dog sitting next to Hachiko barks hopefully the moment he's in sight. Neku doesn't even know any dog owners, and yet he can't shake the feeling he's seen it before. (Shiki has cats, but that's different.)

… Oh. He looks at the dog, and Shibuya _sings_. Why even -

Neku briskly walks over and glares down at it - him - which is harder than he'd like: that dog is _huge_. Way too big to keep in a Tokyo apartment, but for _this_ dog, that's no issue.

The dog looks him in the eye, calculating, then headbutts him. Neku doesn't fall over, but it's an effort.

"I'm not buying you yakitori," Neku states, feeling a little silly about talking to a dog in broad daylight.

`But don't you like my Hachiko impression?` Joshua whines, tilting his head, before standing up to lean on Neku in a clear demand to pet him. God, he's huge. Even down to a more realistic scale, he's huge.

Neku doesn't even need to bend over to scratch the dog between his ears, he's that big, and Joshua groans appreciatively. `That's what he said,` he adds, and it takes Neku a second.

Neku swats his nose. Bad dog! No mind reading!

Joshua lowers his tail, chagrined, before butting his head back into Neku's hand. God, he's so _demanding_. Neku hears Joshua's satisfaction at that: _that wasn't a compliment._

`… It can be if I want it to,` Joshua sends back, and it's strangely comforting, this low exchange of telepathy, even if Neku'd rather it were gone. It's _different_ when it's mutual, even if Neku's sure Joshua could block him, and if Neku only had to interact with reapers … then it would be okay, but he doesn't and it isn't.

Joshua huffs, and Neku moves to dig his fingers into the fur on the scruff of his neck. He's not blaming Joshua, really. Maybe he should be, but he isn't.

"Why are you a dog, anyway?" Neku has to ask. He just didn't want to give Joshua the satisfaction of him focusing on the elephant in the room. Or the mountain dog, as the case may be: he's large enough it's hard to tell the difference.

`Why is anyone anything?` Joshua says, faux philosophical. `I suppose I'm a dog for my charming wit and love for all of humanity, while you're a monkey because - why? A tendency to throw poo at people?`

Low blow, Josh, low blow. "I'm not that kind of monkey," he says instead. … This has to look strange, but he checks and nobody's listening. And not even in that polite _pretending not to pay attention while listening to every word_ way, either: actually nobody is listening. Did they slip into the Underground …?

Joshua doesn't explain that, not that he really expected him to, and sits down, stomping a forefoot. `Neku,` he says, serious, `you wanted me to help you stop scanning people, correct?`

"Well, it _is_ your fault," Neku states. Or maybe Hanekoma's, and - wait. "Is Mr H okay?" he blurts out. He'd forgotten he even should be concerned …!

Joshua tilts his head and blinks. `Of course he is,` he says derisively. It's a reasonable question, okay; it's not like anyone would have told Neku if he wasn't. `Now shush.`

There has to be a better time and place for this than here and now, but Neku shushes anyway. If Joshua is going to be helpful, might as well encourage that.

Joshua smirks. `You wondered why I'm in my Noise form? Make me human again.`

… What. It doesn't really get less silly after Neku stares at him, either. "… and how am I supposed to do that?"

`How about a kiss?` he quips again, and it isn't any funnier the second time. `Ask Shibuya,` he says, more seriously. He tilts his head, calculating.

Neku isn't sure how to do _that_ , either, but Joshua wuffs - does he have to do _everything_ \- and Neku's attention jumps back to the low buzz of the district. Maybe he _does_ know how, the little bit of _this is how the city moves_ intuition showing him the cacophonous symphony that is Joshua, his composer counter-melody too strong and pervasive for Neku to spot the few strings playing Joshua himself, and Shibuya points out to him a percussion line.

Neku can almost hear how that might be Joshua's current shape, but changing it's beyond him. He's not one of the reapers.

Joshua whistles sometimes if he doesn't have his phone out, he realises, and while Neku can't whistle well … he thinks for a moment and taps out a beat with his foot. Just a riff or two, just something that jumped into his head, but he hears Joshua's familiar chuckle once he's done before he's flicked in the nose.

"Was that _really_ necessary?" he says, looking Joshua over. He looks about right, human shaped once more, and if he's insufferably smug … well, it is Joshua.

"Absolutely," he proclaims, before tapping his chin. "That took you longer than I expected, but well done all the same."

"Gee, thanks." Joshua sure knows how to make a guy feel appreciated.

Joshua beams at him: that he does, Neku, that he does. "Most reapers wouldn't be able to do it at all, mind."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Neku has to ask. Weird tests from Joshua were _not_ what he had in mind for his first weekend from university. It's still strange how the crowd moves around them without ever quite realising they're there, but that's nearly normal for being near Joshua.

Joshua hums. "Not particularly," he admits. "I was curious as to if you could listen to Shibuya intentionally, as well as by accident." And then he smirks, smug as anything, but there's real pride there, too. "It seems so."

Well, that's helpful. That just might solve _all of Neku's problems_. "What exactly does that have to do with me wanting to _not_ read minds, you jerk?"

A full body shrug, like it not only has nothing to do with him but shame on Neku for even thinking it might, and then Joshua hops up onto Hachiko himself. Neku scowls at him: that's really rude, to sit on a statue like that, but Joshua merely shoots him a helpless glance and waves his hand _through_ Hachiko's snout. Fine, okay, maybe it's fine since he's insubstantial, but that's _still_ insulting on a deep level. Joshua just smiles at him and starts polishing him and cleaning off the bird poop, just as Neku and Shiki had done that one day, and returns to the subject at hand.

"I _suppose_ if I muted your awareness of the city, you'd stop scanning anyone else, too," Joshua offers, rolling his eyes in distaste at the notion. His glance flickers down to Hachiko, and he scratches the statue behind the ears. Neku could almost swear he saw Hachiko's ears flick, and, well, why not? "But that's merely postponing the inevitable," he adds, "and you likely won't like it."

Neku snorts. "I don't like the way it is now, either." Joshua sighs in reply, and Neku continues: "but what's _inevitable_ about it?"

"You're nearly a reaper, Neku," Joshua explains. "You sound like one; you hear the city like one; all you're missing is your wings, and you don't need them while you're alive. Tuning out the Underground is a complete waste. Shibuya loves you; _Tokyo_ loves you, even if the other districts know where you belong, and you can't easily block yourself from scanning without blocking the rest. It's … unpleasant."

Neku almost argues with that, but something about the way Joshua says that makes it sound like he's speaking from experience, and that it's a bit of an understatement. But of course it'd be unpleasant _for him_ ; he's been the composer for longer than Neku's been alive, and more involved with the Underground than the Realground even before then.

So he mulls that over, rather than fighting him reflexively, and … there's something major he's been missing. Something Joshua doesn't want him to ask, he realises, that he's been carefully avoiding even in the few thoughts Neku can make out over the dull roar of Shibuya itself.

" _Why_ am I nearly a reaper?" Neku asks.

"Ah," Joshua says. Bingo. Joshua studies the cloud cover with a newfound fascination; Neku thinks it might rain later, and Joshua (or Shibuya, or maybe there isn't always a difference) fills in how much and when. "Well."

Yeah, giving him the weather forecast is not really going to work as a distraction. Neku looks at him sternly, more tired than angry. It's so exhausting being angry at Joshua, and … and Neku keeps wanting to think he doesn't have anything up his sleeves, or at least nothing Neku's going to be pissed about. More fool he.

"You must admit," Joshua settles on, "it's preferable to erasure."

 _What._ Neku tenses, ready to run or fight or whatever he has to do, even if Joshua has every advantage and there's _not a thing Neku can do about it_. "Are you threatening me?" Neku chokes out, in disbelief or fury or maybe just pure disappointed exhaustion. He thought maybe they were past this bullshit. Why would he ever think that? It's _Joshua_ and there's always some new fractal depth of bullshit, always some detail Neku'd missed.

Joshua puts his hands up like he's harmless, like he could ever be harmless, and gives him a look. "Certainly not," he says, offended, like he's the one who's been wronged. "I simply …."

There are times Neku can let Joshua pick his favored phrasing, _and this is not one_. "What," he growls.

"I have a very high vibe," he admits with chagrin.

… And that means exactly nothing to Neku. He doesn't dignify that with a response.

"Neku," he tries, then sighs. "Neku, there are reasons the composer usually only has contact with the conductor. It's _dangerous._ "

"Yeah," Neku drawls, "someone might shoot you, and then where would you be? Oh, wait, _you're immune to bullets._ " Otherwise they'd all be in a very different Shibuya. One with a lot more bad art.

Joshua shakes his head. "Even besides the inevitable assassination attempts - and Neku, most of the reapers know where I live; they're free to try, and sometimes do - only the strongest of reapers can be near me without risking destabilisation," he explains, fiddling with his hair. "I'm entirely capable of erasing people without having meant to, if I'm not careful. Surely you've noticed you rarely tolerate my presence for long?"

"That's because you're an asshole." Who does he think he's fooling?

Joshua shakes his head, not declining the label. "Honestly, Neku, even if I were the most agreeable sheep in Shibuya, you would _still_ take offense."

"Josh, you could never be agreeable," Neku states, but he could believe it. "What does this have to do with you making me almost a reaper?"

"I didn't say I did that," Joshua says.

Neku just stares at him.

Yeah, he didn't say it, but who the hell else would have done it? Def Märch? It was Joshua; Neku can tell it was Joshua; in the _highly unlikely_ event it wasn't Joshua, it was probably Mr Hanekoma doing it _for_ Joshua, in which case it's still Joshua's fault. What an amazing coincidence! Something happened that mostly benefits Joshua! _Who could have possibly done this?_

"I raised your vibe," Joshua states, and while Neku still doesn't really know what that _means_ , Neku still knows enough to keep staring until he adds, "at least once per Game week since - since I realised I needed a new conductor. It seemed the simplest solution."

Once per Game, with two Games a month, means … probably means getting on towards fifty times. And he said _at least_ , and knowing Joshua, that's a massive understatement, and even if Neku doesn't know what exactly that would do … that would explain why he didn't notice. "The fuck."

Joshua shrugs at him, like he didn't have other options. What a load of shit.

"So that did … what, exactly."

Joshua hums, thinking about it. "Likely it didn't do much you would notice," he admits, "seeing as you're not active in the UG. I've never heard of anyone else promoting a human, however, so I honestly have no idea." He sighs, then perks up. "The _important_ thing is that I no longer have to be careful not to erase you, as you're now the third strongest being in Shibuya. Bravo!"

Gee, thanks. Neku's so proud. - wait, shit. "You mean _you could have erased me before?!_ "

He waves his hand. Details, details. "I didn't, did I?"

Holy fucking shit. "So that week, that whole week, you were my partner and you could have killed me - **again** \- _by accident_." Joshua smiles beatifically at him, and it just makes everything worse. "You fucking - you fucking self-centered scumbag!"

Joshua shrugs. "That was a while ago, Neku, and as you're well aware, you survived the ordeal, so is it really still relevant?" He waves it off again. "You're here; I'm here; I did my best to make sure neither of us would have to worry about it, and maybe there were a few unforeseen side effects, but no harm, no foul, eh?"

Fucking hell. Neku slumps. "You should have told me," is all Neku says.

"I did."

" _Before_ you started messing with my life again."

Joshua snorts. "You wanted me to be friends with you, Neku," he says, injured. "I simply did my best to make it as safe as possible."

" _By making me a reaper!_ "

Joshua rolls his eyes again, throwing one hand up in surrender before leaning forward to embrace Hachiko and scritch him under the chin, and yeah that might be a statue but Neku can hear _something_ changing. "Neku," he says, and then again when he notices Neku's not listening. "You're still alive. You have no duties in the UG, and may act in the Realground as you please. You are very definitively not a reaper."

"Then what the hell am I?!" Normal people do not have to worry about getting assassinated into the UG; normal people do not get accosted by pissy Game Masters; Neku fell past normal a hell of a long time ago and it was Joshua's fault through and through. Fucking hell.

Joshua's quiet, maybe speechless or maybe just thinking up an appropriate lie. Hachiko feels like he's in a good mood, which makes one of them, but the crowd's giving them an even wider berth than usual. Sensing their own moods? It'd figure.

"Well?"

Joshua shakes himself out of it, and ah, so it was him who was broadcasting. "You're Neku," he says, like that explains anything. He thinks a bit longer, scratching his chin before resting his head on Hachiko's, then adds, "past that, I have no idea. This doesn't happen very often."

Neku deflates despite himself. There has to be something else he can say, but Joshua's not giving him enough fuel to work off of, and all Neku can manage is a tired, "You should have asked me first."

Joshua nods slightly, small enough that Neku'd've missed it if he wasn't paying attention. And quietly, regretfully: "Would you have agreed, if I had?"

"I -" He'd wanted to see Joshua again, to not leave him to stay alone and retreat back into himself, but … enough to let Joshua do something where not even Joshua himself knows what all the consequences might be?

"It's not just about my vibe," Joshua adds. "You're banned from _all_ Games. Your vibe as it is now is high enough to ensure that no conductor worth the name would erase you without at _least_ offering you a position as a reaper."

"…." There isn't anything he can say to that, either. He … he just wants to be left alone.

"I am sorry you are upset," Joshua says carefully, watching him, "but it did seem to be the best solution to a messy situation." He smiles sadly at Neku for a moment longer, and vanishes.

Neku buries his head in his hands and sits down on the bench, not even thinking to check if anyone else is there first. (Someone was, but they go _through_ him as he collapses in frustration and then leave. Neku only notices peripherally, the crusty icing on the shit cake of his hour, and the world feels a bit less real as he slides back down to the RG, solidity be damned.)

Fucking Joshua. Neku always knew there'd be a catch, but that didn't mean he wanted to _find_ it. It's better to know than not know, but he kept hoping there _wouldn't be anything to know at all_. Fucking hell.

And he'd been doing it for years, too. The hell does this bastard think he is? Neku'd trusted him, and look what he'd did: he'd gone right back to the same old shit. And maybe that's all of it, maybe he'd just figured that if he was in for a penny, he was in for a pound, and there's nothing else waiting to bite Neku in the ass, but you know what?

He could have told Neku _before_ it became an issue.

(And the old Joshua wouldn't have told him at all, would've just casted it all as Hanekoma's fault and Hanekoma'd've let him, but that's the weakest of weak defenses. Great, Joshua's been more honest than he needs to be. That makes _everything_ better.)

And Neku's phone buzzes, because of course it does. Of course Joshua ran away to text him while he licks his wounds. Neku checks it, because he _never learns_. `Regardless of what you think of me, please talk to Mr Hanekoma about your vibe. Forewarned is forearmed.`

`NOW you say that.` No reply. Neku gives in and adds: `so mr h knew too huh`

`He taught me everything I know,` which might as well be a confession. Of course he did. Probably, Neku was the only one who _didn't_ know, and that includes that wall reaper who always asked him for food.

`Maybe thats the problem,` Neku sends, and he'll regret this later, but right now he doesn't care. `Of course a thief'd leave morals out of it.` How much of CAT's art is even CAT's? How can anyone trust him after that?

`I didn't want to hurt you,` Joshua says, but Neku's not sure how much what _Neku_ wants enters into his plans. `Please see Mr H.`

Neku flips the phone shut and storms off.


	11. Neku Beholds the Power of Friendship

He'd wanted to hang out with his friends properly, but he's in no mood after a conversation like that. Just lets them know he's doing okay and that he'll drop by the Bitous to get his stuff before heading back, and then he finds somewhere to chill for a while. Joshua's probably right about it being a good idea to talk to Mr Hanekoma, but he lies as much as Joshua and he isn't even up-front about it.

So instead he lazes around Towa Records, picking up a few albums that aren't being sold digitally for some reason and chatting with the clerk about their respective music tastes. As he's leaving, the graffiti by the door catches his eyes like it hasn't in years; why is a music store involved in the Game, anyway? Strange choice. He examines the reaper sigil out of idle curiosity, looking for a signature, then taps it experimentally.

The spraypaint shudders and flashes white - red - gold - and then back to normal, leaving him with only the afterimage of a stylised snake skull. Megumi Kitaniji, Shibuya clarifies, though Neku couldn't forget that snake Noise if he'd tried. (And he did try, but some things you just don't get over.)

So … what, did Kitaniji add all the sigils, or only the ones for stores he was involving in the Game? Not like it matters; Kitaniji's dead - erased, even - and Joshua's been trying to leave Neku with an offer he can't refuse to take Kitaniji's old job. Oh, yeah, Neku could say no, and he could even probably make it stick, but Joshua's been stacking the deck as best he can the whole time.

The spot under Miyashita Park Underpass that Neku'll probably always think of as _Beat and Rhyme's_ , just as the Udagawa mural is Neku's, hasn't been marked in a long time (not since the Game, not since it'd no longer happened), but Neku still notes it each time. He probably shouldn't - they're fine now - but it still … resonates, he guesses. And there's Progfox again, considering if it wants to feed off any of the passersby.

`Don't even think about it,` Neku tries to say as he sits down on the bench, but it comes out … odd. Progfox just snorts and gives him a few meters of distance, nonchalant enough it could almost be its own idea. Much better than trying to fight it, if Neku even can; Neku just hopes no naive players try to handle it.

What is he even doing? This is pointless, and he honestly should probably just head back to the dorms. Talk to some of his classmates, find something interesting to do around there, do anything other than sit around Shibuya letting his brain pickle.

He's considering just leaving and screw seeing Hanekoma, when he hears a familiar, "Eh?" and reflexively ducks.

"Sine!" A piece of metal flies past Neku's head. "Cosine!" And another. Neku ducks again, expecting - "TAAAAAANGENT!" - as two connected street signs hit where he'd been a moment before.

Oh, for fuck's sake. "Don't you have anything better to do?!" Neku yelps, looking around for - yep, there he is. Pi Face's got a different outfit than Neku's familiar with, and he doesn't seem to be 'all Tabooty'd up' anymore, but Neku _did_ steal his hat last time he saw him, so it only figures he'd've had to get a new one.

Pi Face sticks his tongue out at him. _Seriously?_ "Nothing more integral than taking care of this derivative, brat!"

Neku rubs at his temples. If there's one thing he knows about reapers …. "You … do know I'm not dead, right?"

Pi Face stares at him in confusion, which … yeah, Neku figured as much. Thanks, Joshua, for this as well as everything else. "What the factor are you talking about?" he says slowly, squinting at him, and Neku can actually see his (single, now) pair of wings flutter uncomfortably as Pi Face drops back down into the UG. "Your function's got _way_ too high of a coefficient to be out of bounds, yo."

"I'm alive," Neku states, turning his body just enough for: "See? No wings."

Pi Face's frown deepens; Neku's starting to feel a bit bad for him. "Weren't you the composer's partner?"

And why Joshua wouldn't have wiped that from Pi Face's memory with the rest of it's beyond him, but Neku nods. "Yeah, but I'm alive again." For however long that lasts, he adds darkly, but the reaper doesn't catch that.

At least Pi Face looks almost contrite now, though. "So why the fractal hell ain't you conductor?" he says, then scratches his head as his grin comes back. "Wait a secant, why ain't _I_ conductor, if the composer's boytoy's still breathing?"

This is _so_ not the conversation he wanted to have. "Must be your winning personality," he drawls as he gets up to walk to CAT Street.

Pi Face flips him off, but of course he doesn't let Neku leave in peace. "Kid!" he says as Neku strides past, though they look nearly the same age by now. "Sorry about trying to bump you to zero; you sounded like a bigwig who jumped the step function, and I, uh …."

"Wanted a promotion," Neku finishes, not giving even half a shit. It's just his life by now.

Pi Face beams. "When I'm composer," he states like it's a surety, "be my Megs, aight? I could use a chill guy like you."

And he's gone before that can sink in. Neku just stares at him in his own bafflement, and then keeps walking.

… Megs? _Really_?

Some things are better left unexplained, Neku decides, and moves on.

* * *

WildKat's closed again, which figures, but Neku tries the door anyway on a hunch and goes right through. No idea whether it's Neku or the door that's insubstantial, though, and Neku can't bring himself to care.

"Hey, Neku," Mr Hanekoma says tiredly as Neku ignores him and plops himself straight down on the couch. "Shop's closed today, you know. Put a sign up and everything."

"Josh told me to talk to you," he grumbles, and Hanekoma sighs.

"Kinda hoped we could put this off 'til tomorrow," he says sheepishly, scratching the back of his head, but he flashes Neku the _everything's going to be all right_ smile and Neku reflexively blocks an imprint. Wait, what? "I just got back from vacation, and you know, Hawaii has some _nice_ beans."

It was subtle, light enough that Neku wouldn't have noticed if Shibuya hadn't alerted him to it, but now that Neku knows to look for it, it's all over the shop: _all is well and all shall be well_ , and Hanekoma keeps projecting it himself. Only _Shibuya_ (or maybe Joshua) hadn't wanted Neku to allow himself to be calmed.

"Vacation?" Neku echoes, trying to keep his feelings from showing. "Josh said …."

"Josh says a lot of things," he replies airily. "Some of 'em are even true."

And that has Neku wincing. Joshua is a liar, it's true, but … _trust your partner_ , right? But what does that ever get Neku. "So … you aren't in trouble?" he says slowly, and Hanekoma shrugs.

"Nah, it's all good." He smiles, and Neku wants so much to trust it. "You're a good kid, Neku. You don't need to worry about an old man like me."

"Okay," he says, though it isn't. At least one of them is lying, and _both_ of them are manipulating him. Again. "So, um …."

Hanekoma hums encouragingly.

"I keep - scanning people, since you two linked me to Shibuya, and I was wondering if …." Maybe asking this isn't the best idea.

He brightens: _oh, is that all?_ "Want me to block that for you?" he finishes. "I can probably lock Josh from reading you, too, if you want."

Wait, _what!?_ "You can?!" he blurts out. "I've been asking Josh about that for years - _shit._ "

"Well," Hanekoma says neutrally. "Josh is a good kid, but …."

"He's been lying to me," Neku states, and Hanekoma just shrugs. " _Shit._ "

"Don't be too hard on him," Hanekoma chides. "It's true what I said before: he's been alone most of his life."

 _Alone_ is one thing. Socially incompetent and really bad at not being a jerkass is one thing. This? This is something else. "He'll be alone for the rest of it, too, at this rate," he growls, and Hanekoma sighs.

"I'll talk to him," he says. "And I'll have a pin for you by tomorrow; come back then. Anything else?"

… fuck, might as well. "Josh also wanted me to ask you to show me how to get in and out of the UG," he adds reluctantly, and even if it's not quite true, it's not like Mr H is going to know. And Neku sure as hell isn't going to talk to Joshua about it, not after this shit.

Hanekoma beams, and turns out to be a pretty good tutor. The trick's to focus more on the people he knows at the right frequency, and tune out everyone else, which is harder than it sounds, and Hanekoma warns him not to stay above the Realground for too long. Why the _Underground_ is _above_ the Realground is beyond Neku, but Mr H is consistent on that point, even if he neglects to explain any of it.

Neku's at least confident he won't walk through anyone by accident, and even if he's not sure he's going to want to talk to Joshua again after this shit (he can't believe - no, he can believe it, and that's what makes it _worse_ ), at least he maybe can approach sometimes knowing what he's doing. Fuck.

When Hanekoma judges him competent and Neku feels about ready to go, Mr H sticks a bowl of pumpkin soup in front of him and explains, "I'm sticking this on Josh's tab," and damn if he doesn't gain a few points in Neku's estimation.

"He has a tab?" Neku says, then shakes his head: of course he does. "I'll take nine."

Mr H smirks and packs them up for him. It's nice to feel like he has an ally against Joshua's bullshit, and even if Hanekoma does his own bullshit and gives Joshua way too much leeway sometimes, it's really hard to stay mad at him.

But then he steps outside, and it's like a bucket of cold water as the faint hum of Joshua's attention snaps back and Neku's phone buzzes. `Everything all right?` Joshua texts, like he doesn't know already.

`Go fuck yourself with a cactus,` Neku replies, and sets his phone to silent.


	12. Neku Practices His Social Skills

Beat had a long day at work, so Neku simply grabbed his stuff and left a few things of soup before heading back to campus, thankfully uneventfully. No reapers harassing him, no new messages from Joshua, everything normal or what could pass for it if Neku squints. Neku even manages to sleep okay, a minor miracle given everything else, and when he checks his phone in the morning ….

A text from Hanekoma letting him know the pin's done, and a message from Kariya. Fucking reapers, Neku thinks, but he clicks it open anyway. `Composer asked about you. Forwarded them your candy wrapper. Thought you should know.` … Oooor maybe he has some good points. Good to see _some_ reapers being decent, at least.

WildKat's closed again, which he expected, and _locked_ , which he didn't. He tries the knob again anyway, just in case, but it's shut tight. Even when he tries to hum it open, and he'd've _thought_ Shibuya'd be able to get it, but either he's not good enough at it or Shibuya knows the composer's pissed at him.

Probably both.

Neku punches the door and storms off, and is only a little surprised when his phone buzzes. `I believe he's out on a walk,` Joshua informs him, not like Neku _asked_ but at least he doesn't have to see Joshua's lying face as he butts his head in.

`Stop checking on me,` Neku types back, scowling.

`I was keeping track of Mr H, actually,` Joshua replies, and that isn't any better. Like it's Joshua's business what Hanekoma spends his time doing?

Joshua doesn't reply to that, though, and Neku can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. `Do you know where he is?` he types instead.

`I'll tell him you're looking for him,` and that isn't an answer but Neku can tell he _is_ trying to help. Sort of. It isn't any of Joshua's _business_ , but he probably meant well.

But he sure as hell doesn't need any additional encouragement. `Okay. Do that,` he types, and goes to get a snack.

* * *

Nothing ever turns out as simply as planned, but this is at least a welcome complication: "Neku!" Shiki calls, and he brightens.

"Hi, Shiki!" he replies, waving, and he's automatically moving to help her with her bags ( _sooooo_ much fabric) when he notices Eri's already got it. "Hey, Eri," he adds a bit awkwardly.

"I thought you were going away for school?" Eri says, looking him over, and she isn't exactly disappointed. (She's not _not_ disappointed, though, and it'd be a hell of a lot easier to pretend he didn't notice if he didn't hear the echoes of it. At least Mr H can help with that.)

"Just across town," he explains. "I don't want to worry about taking my art supplies on the train all the time, you know?" It's an easy lie and Shiki doesn't call him on it; Eri nods knowingly.

"Yeah, that stuff can be pretty bulky. So what're you doing in this part of town?"

… Neku hadn't thought that far. He looks to Shiki for help, rolling his eyes dramatically enough she'll hopefully get it, and she shakes her head slightly. "Hey, Neku," she cuts in, "do you have time to help us pick out fabric?"

Eri glances at Shiki for a moment, then looks back to Neku. "Yeah, you've got pretty good taste; want to come help us out?"

Okay, now she _has_ to be bullshitting him; she probably just wants to mock his clothes. No way does she _actually_ think his taste is good. "Nah," he says, apologetic, "I need to be somewhere in a bit."

Shiki sighs; Eri raises her eyebrows at him. What? It's _true_. "If you say so," Shiki says, and shit, he didn't mean to offend her. Eri, maybe, but not Shiki.

"Maybe next week?" he suggests, hating himself for it. If he can just -

"That sounds great!" Eri says, beaming. Shit.

Shiki smiles at them both. "Well, we've all got places to be," she says, "so I guess we'll see you then?"

"Sounds good," Neku says, and he tries to force the cheer out. Shiki deserves to know people get excited to see her; it's never going to lose the appeal. She brightens, and he watches the two of them go before continuing on his way.

His phone buzzes, and for once it _isn't_ Joshua or a reaper pulling something. `you know, u could be nicer to her,` Shiki sends.

`Sorry,` he types back, but he can't really regret it. Eri's hurt Shiki even more than he has; somebody needs to keep an eye on her to make sure it doesn't happen again, and it might as well be him.

`im not the one who needs the apology,` Shiki says, and maybe she's right. She probably _is_ right.

`Ill apologise next time i see her, ok?`

`ok but youd better actually do it this time`

Great. Now he feels like a total jerk. Ugh.

It is too early in the morning for this shit.

* * *

Sunshine ice cream hardly counts as breakfast, but it's sure helping him feel better, and by the time Neku's back out of the stationside store, Mr H is rudely sprawled over the bench near Hachiko, legs far enough apart to keep anyone else from using it and two boxes taking up the rest of the space. Neku glares at him with a city child's consternation - you just don't _do_ that - but Mr H just beams at him innocently and holds up a bag of pins.

"Heyyyy, Neku," he chirps as Neku walks to him.

Neku, in lieu of responding, just shoves the boxes over to get Hanekoma to move, and sits down once he's given in and set the boxes near his feet. "Hi, Mr H."

"Took me a bit to decide how to do it," he admits, "'cause half of the easier ways'd probably hurt you, but I _think_ I got it." He pulls out a pin and offers it to Neku. "What do you think?"

Neku takes it and with a glance, the ground drops out under him. It's the Red Skull pins all over again; he'd thought they were CAT's and maybe they actually were; but no, this one's a skeletal paw over a red field. Maybe it's not the same. It's probably fine; it's got to be fine. "… What's it do?" he manages.

"Sets up a layer of interference between you and them," he says promptly. "Same basic idea as the Player Pins, only it scrambles 'em at a higher level than the composer can manage. Pretty great, huh?"

"… Huh," is all Neku can say. It's … exactly what Neku asked Joshua for, actually, and the discovery that it was possible after all _burns_. He sighs, and against the little bit of him panicking, puts it on his collar. Those were _Kitaniji's_ pins; Mr H is … safe.

"Well?" Mr H says, expectantly.

Neku thinks about it, picks a passerby and vaguely wonders about what she's doing with her day. No response. "It's definitely a lot quieter," he decides, and Hanekoma brightens.

"Good sign, good sign." He puts an arm around Neku's shoulders conspiratorially. "And how about we go test the other thing too, eh?"

Getting the jump on Joshua in his own place sounds _great_. "Fuck yes."

Hanekoma's grin widens like the Cheshire cat.

* * *

Mr H leaves Neku to go it alone once they reach the first one of Pi Face's sculptures, which Neku is fine with. "I gotta take some pictures of these," Mr H claimed, though, which … why? Posterity? To mock him? _Please_ may it not be because he actually _likes_ them, but this is one of those questions Neku doesn't actually want to ask.

He might get an answer, after all, and his pride probably can't handle learning that CAT enjoys the Grim Heaper's compulsive piling up of junk. It just can't.

The wall/Noise barrier - and it's a dog skull now, probably has been for a while, only it just didn't occur to Neku to _pay attention_ \- lets him through without him even needing to nudge it, and the Dead God's Pad is bright and loud and filled with reapers pointing guns at him.

Shit.


	13. Neku's Sick to Death of Caterwauling

Neku can't make out who they are like this, their voices overlaying each other and the fog from the pin keeping him from recognising each of them, but he _can_ tell that this is most of the reapers in Shibuya and they are not very happy.

"Who the fuck are you?" a few of them blurt out, loud enough to be heard over the rest, but the rat Noise sitting at the bar waves an arm and everyone else sits down and shuts up.

Neku's half-expecting to have to fight his way out, and the rat may be lazy but no one's ever heard of a rat that'd let someone take the nest without a fight, but the rat stares at him for a moment, twitches its ears, and fizzes back out into …

… Lollipop. "Kid," he says, like he has to dig out each word, "you picked a bad time."

"Guess so," Neku agrees, and it's strange how most of the reapers don't seem to have any idea who he is. He _knows_ these people, at least a little, and 777's staring at him like Neku makes his head hurt. So that must be BJ and Tenho sharing the couch with him, and they don't have their guns drawn anymore, but they still look tense. Scared, even.

The only one who _doesn't_ seem scared is Pi Face, and even _he_ looks baffled as all hells. He's staring at Neku like he has no idea who he is, but either way this is the best thing that's happened all day.

… Pinky isn't here. That seems odd.

Lollipop stares at him, more expressionless than Neku'd ever seen, then nods faintly. "Hey, boss," he calls to the jukebox. "We got a live one. Should I send him through?"

"Certainly," the jukebox replies, and the voice might not be familiar (it sounds like a bit like a vocaloid, actually) but the _tone_ sure is. "Apologies for the lack of warning," they - Joshua, probably - add insincerely. "I was a bit preoccupied."

Lollipop scowls over the top of his glasses at the jukebox, meeting Neku's gaze: _can you believe this guy?_ Neku snorts - at least he's not the only one who knows the composer's full of shit - and snorts louder when Lollipop's glasses slide off his nose. Lollipop glares at him as he pushes his glasses back up, but Neku just smirks. Haha, loser.

The portal opens as the door to a side room; Lollipop points to it without looking, but Neku's already going for it. The hallway with the CAT mural seems shorter than before, somehow, and soon enough he's back in Joshua's throne room.

"Will you _ever_ knock first, Sanae?" the composer drawls, voice reverberating through Neku's bones. "I _am_ rather busy today, you know."

"Umm," Neku says intelligently. _Sanae?_

"Cat got your tongue?" the composer adds, chuckling. Neku hadn't actually seen the composer before, both taller and more androgynous than Joshua himself, and seeing him he could almost see why Kitaniji looked up to him so. All the power of Shibuya itself concentrated in one person, and what does it matter if the person in question is a bratty jerk? They're impressive all the same.

Neku clears his throat. "Um, Josh? This is Neku."

The composer stares, long and hard, then tilts his head and statics out and back into Joshua. Joshua keeps looking at Neku, not quite comprehending, then shakes it off. "Neku?" he repeats, as baffled as the other reapers. "Sanae, if this is some kind of joke -"

A familiar self-deprecating laugh as Hanekoma fades in, and Joshua stiffens. "Figured I'd try something new, boss," Mr H says, glancing between them as he sips his coffee, and Neku suspects he might have made a mistake.

"What did you do to Neku?" Joshua growls, and Neku gets between them half on instinct. If it came to a fight, he knows who he'd side with, but Shibuya feels like it's trying to knock him flat on his ass.

"I'm right here, you know," Neku tells an uncaring audience. His head's killing him.

"Helped him out a bit," Hanekoma says, flashing Neku a brief smile. _Everything will be all right,_ and Neku relaxes just from that. "He wanted you out of his head, boss."

"So you inserted yourself in his?!" Joshua snarls, shifting to his canine form and leaping at Hanekoma's throat in one smooth motion, and they're at it. Neku doesn't know which one shoved him out of the way first, but Hanekoma - or the sibling cats that took his place - get first blood and second, and Neku's head's clearer than it's been all day. Joshua has speed on his side, but Hanekoma has numbers, and Neku doesn't know which way to jump, if anywhere.

They stop as abruptly as they started, Hanekoma wiping blood off his chin as he fades back to human and the fog returns in Neku's head, but Joshua yips an energy blast and Neku's new pin melts.

They're _loud_ , louder than they'd been before Neku tried the pin, but Joshua looks so relieved that Neku has to smile at him, lying bastard be damned.

Wait, shit, no, he's still mad. "What the hell was that?" Neku screeches, and both Joshua and Hanekoma jump in maybe-shame as they mutually agree it didn't happen. Good for them, maybe, but _Neku_ sure isn't ignoring it.

They both open their mouths to reply, then stop. Start again. Nearly talk over each other. Neku gestures to Mr H as tie-breaker.

"I was filtering your Music," Hanekoma says easily, "but it looks like the boss-man took offense." Joshua crosses his arms, unimpressed and unashamed, and Neku could almost not notice the faint splotch bleeding through his shirt.

"And you?" Neku growls, sure Joshua's excuse is going to be just as bullshit as ever.

He curls his lip up at Hanekoma, then looks at Neku straight-on. "Were you aware that to _filter_ you, Sanae here would need to insert himself in your mind?" Joshua drawls, patting at his side. Neku watches the bloodstain fade as if it'd never been, not quite comprehending. Joshua sighs. "Neku. Think of Shiki."

… What _about_ Shiki? She's doing fine, last Neku heard, and she's marketing a whole line of - "You cheating plagiarising bastard," Neku says with feeling, whirling around to glare at Hanekoma. "You _messed with my mind?!_ "

Hanekoma shrugs. "Never bothered you before," he says lightly. "And you _did_ want the kid out of your head."

Neku splutters. That is so far beside the point that - and _both_ of them send him an _it'll be fine_ imprint. Like hell it will! _Joshua's_ is at least clearly Joshua doing it, though; he wouldn't have noticed it from Hanekoma if he hadn't been thinking about it, and _hell_.

Joshua averts his eyes and tosses him an apologetic _just trying to help_ , while Hanekoma doesn't even have the decency to acknowledge it. Just watching him as kindly as ever, and isn't it strange how he's always seemed so profoundly trustworthy ….

Joshua's phone buzzes, and Neku's going to have to think about that later. "We've got two minutes," Joshua states, and Hanekoma nods slightly and vanishes. _For what?_ Neku starts to ask, but Joshua cuts him off: "It's Day Seven, and Yashiro just passed the last pair. I can return you to the surface, or -"

\- or Neku can see how Games _usually_ end, and Joshua looks tired. Neku takes a deep breath, uncomfortably aware that no one else here needs to, and nods. "Can I watch?" he says, not sure what he's looking for, and Joshua slowly brightens.

Literally, too, as he slips into his composer form, and Joshua really is supernaturally beautiful like that. Neku loses a moment staring, and Joshua's phone beeps again. One minute.

"On My right," Joshua murmurs, and the capitals insert themselves. Joshua sprawls across the throne, regally amused, and Neku obediently stands to his side, cold and alert. A practice run in case he loses his mind and agrees to be Joshua's conductor, he figures, and the prospect's less terrifying than it should be.

He should try not to fidget. "They won't see you anyway," Joshua mutters. "They'll be too terrified of me," and he's neither enjoying it nor derisive. Just aware of the facts.

Aaaand time, Neku knows a moment early, as the entrance _cracks_ and two wispy Players limp in, battered but not broken. Joshua flashes him an accompanying image of Yashiro - Pinky, apparently - collapsing at the bar in the lounge; apparently tasking the Players to erase the Game Master's up to the GM's discretion, and she's learned at least a _little_ restraint.

Good for her, Neku thinks, and Joshua agrees with pride.

"We beat your stupid Game," says the taller in the pair, almost dragging her partner, and they look so fragile and pathetic from this end. Are they always like this?

"I want to go _home_ ," the other one says, and oh god he is _way_ too young to be here.

"That depends on you," Joshua intones, and Neku kind of wants to strangle him even though he knows it's an act. (It _is_ an act, right?) "What makes you think My Shibuya is a better place with you in it?"

And they wince, but they don't run. Not like they might have a week ago. Neku listens more to Joshua than to them, as Joshua pushes them to put what they know into words. That they can rely on other people, but they can look after themselves, too.

It's not unlike what he'd done the second week, Neku realises, Joshua casting himself as the villain so Neku would have to develop his position, and it's not kind but it isn't quite cruel, either. Just harsh the way the Underground always is.

`Do you think I should make them write essays instead?` Joshua quips, and Neku coughs to cover a snort. The Players jump, but true to Joshua's word, they don't seem to quite realise Neku's there.

Eventually Joshua nods slightly. "Very good," he says, smiling slightly. "You pass." Neku lets out the breath he didn't realise he was holding. "Now, to return your entry fees …." Joshua snaps his fingers and Neku _knows_ that facial expression: getting memories returned or whatever Joshua's doing _hurts_.

"And our lives?" the short one says bravely.

Joshua chuckles; Neku punches him, but _ow fucking shit is he made out of rock?!_ Joshua flicks him in the arm as revenge: `Do try not to make me look bad in front of the children, dear.`

Fine, whatever, asshole.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather become a reaper?" Joshua says, curious, and Neku really wants to hit him again. _He would deserve it._ The Players think it's even less funny than Neku does, and Joshua sighs. "Very well, then, two resurrections coming right up …."

Joshua snaps his fingers, and they're gone.

"… is that it?" Neku says after a moment, but Joshua's not listening. Too busy adjusting people's memories to account for the missing - week and a half, Shibuya fills in; the Game didn't start until they were in limbo for a few days. Neku shuts up and and starts to move, meaning to leave him to it, but Joshua's hand jerks out and catches the hem of Neku's shirt.

`Stay,` Joshua sends absently, too preoccupied to work out how talking works, and Neku instead just sits down where he is. Joshua radiates gratified amusement in response, and it's sort of nice. Horribly awkward, but nice.

Eventually Joshua sighs and relaxes, and Neku glances up at him. Joshua looks exhausted, eyes half-lidded and wings slumped, and Neku's surprised enough to even _see_ the latter that he reaches his hand out and -

\- Joshua jumps, suddenly alert, and Neku yelps. Not injured, just startled, but there's teeth marks on his hand and a bit of soot.

"Don't," Joshua manages, gulping, " _ever_ surprise a reaper like that, Neku."

"Sorry," Neku says, quiet. Joshua stares down at him, a bit predatory, then sighs, point made.

"You can touch them if you'd like," he concedes, and Neku brightens. Neku's seen plenty of reapers, but Joshua's are _different_ , smaller and with white feathers, and he's only seen them the once. Neku lightly but firmly touches one (he doesn't want it to tickle) and -

\- rewriting things for the victors is always so tedious; _must_ they always rush the funerals? At least this pair was presumed missing, but honestly now, it's not like the Game is _new_ and Sanae could not possibly have picked worse timing if he'd tried. What is he thinking; of _course_ Sanae did it on purpose, but that's just plain _rude_ -

\- Neku lifts his hand up. What the hell ….

"It's not everything," Joshua explains quickly, not looking at Neku. "There's usually a bit of a delay, to keep either person from falling into a feedback loop, but - yes."

He's blushing. Neku can't even see his face and Neku _still_ knows he's blushing. All this mess and Joshua's still blushing like a teenager worried that they're going to ruin it with their first crush.

Which … he might as well be, Neku realises, technical age aside. Joshua hasn't exactly had a _normal_ life, and maybe if he asks …. "How old were you when you became the composer?"

"Fifteen," Joshua replies without a trace of shame. "I cheated."

And _Neku_ remembers being fifteen: he was an _idiot_. Neku lowers his hand again: this won't be kind, but it's no worse than Joshua's done. Brushing against the feathers, he feels/remembers settling in at WildKat, standard-issue matchbox revolver in hand, waiting for the then-composer to come in for a chat. It's _so_ hard to notice anything Sanae's trying to hide; he and his are either _safe_ or _threat_ with nothing in between.

He _did_ say he cheated, Neku, there's no need to be like that. Neku clears the block in his throat and asks: "Did you mess with my head?"

Joshua flinches, but he flinches _up_ and into Neku's hand, holding himself there as Neku tries to back away.

Yes, Joshua answers, and he's terrified but knew it was coming, even kind of wanted it out in the open, and he tosses the examples to Neku before Neku can recoil. Neku considers them, expecting the worst, but … it's mostly just clearing his head when he wanted to keep calm, pushing down doubts when Joshua knew the anxiety'd be useless. And scanning him. Lots of scanning him when Neku wouldn't have wanted him to, but nothing _Joshua'd_ consider invasive, and even by Neku's standards …

… he still hasn't been that bad. Not as good as he'd hoped, and they're probably going to have another fight over it, but better than even his most optimistic expectations. `I didn't know what you wanted from me,` Joshua says quietly, and Neku lets go.

Deep breath, Neku. He's completely aware of Joshua leaving his reaction to himself, and it doesn't help. Not after a week of never quite being alone in his head, and then whatever - Hanekoma had done. (Neku pushes down the familiar address; he's not Neku's friend. Not really.)

Neku smiles at him, a bit weakly, but Joshua isn't even paying attention. Too sure he knows everything and that Neku's still pissed, maybe past where he can fix. (For a clairvoyant, Joshua can be really obtuse.)

So Neku just sighs and pats his wing, trying to tune out whatever he hears of Joshua, and says, "It's okay."

Joshua looks at him like he's stupid, which is pretty unfair. "You … are aware I've been plotting around you for years, are you not, " he says flatly.

"Yeah, I got that," Neku says, but as far as he can tell, Joshua was pretty much just trying to scheme their friendship. Which … is patently ridiculous, and an excellent example of _what the hell, Josh_ , but something that Neku can live with. Even the conductor thing … Neku suspects he might just be lonely. This guy. "I'm not going to forgive you if you kill me again, though."

Joshua leans into the touch, mollified. "Well, then," he says, deceptively light, "so long as we're clear."

"And I'm still mad about that," Neku adds, but Joshua just barks a laugh. Of course he is; Joshua hardly expected otherwise.

Something occurs to Joshua and he pulls away, not willing to trust this to Neku's shields. "Is it only _my_ murder attempts you're upset over, or all of them?"

… the fuck. "All of them," Neku states, glowering. Did that really need to be asked? "But especially the _successful_ ones."

"Oh, you're not dead _now_ ," Joshua snaps without heat. "No, I meant - are you, for example, still mad at Mr Hanekoma?"

Oh, just say 'Sanae' already; Neku knows he wants to. But Joshua's looking at him intently. "… Mr H hasn't tried to kill me," Neku says experimentally.

Joshua bursts out laughing. "Neku," he manages, "Sanae's tried to kill you _today_ , much less all those times in the Game!"

 ** _The fuck?!_**

"That pin? That pin made you sound like him when he _isn't_ being unsuspicious, so the reapers would see you as a threat to our UG," he explains, still laughing uproariously. Gee, at least the concept of Neku dying is funny to _someone_.

Joshua sobers. "And then I would have to decide whether I wished to resurrect you, on a day I'm already exhausted."

Neku frowns. "You would, wouldn't you?"

Joshua looks away.

" _Joshua_ …." This is something important, and he needs to know.

"I don't know," Joshua admits, wings carefully drooping within Neku's reach, though Neku doesn't take the bait. "I would like to think so, but I can't say. If I thought I could win your trust back again …." He trails off.

… well, Neku appreciates the honesty, even if the answer sucks. "You couldn't," he states, though even he isn't sure. Isolation can do a lot to a person.

Joshua chuckles mirthlessly. "Better for us both that I not have the temptation, hmm?"

Neku sure can agree with that. "… and during the Game?" he asks warily. He _so_ doesn't want to hear this, but the not-knowing is worse.

Joshua looks thoughtful. "I think it's better if you hear about that from him, don't you agree?"

Actually, Neku thinks it's better if he hears about it _at all_ , but Joshua smirks and adds, "Give me a week to prepare, and I'll drag it out of him if I have to. Just, Neku …."

He trails off. "Yeah?" Neku prods.

"Don't think _too_ ill of him; he always does what he thinks is for the best," Joshua says, and he might even believe it. "Only … sometimes he thinks what's best for himself and what's best for Shibuya are the same thing, hm?"

Neku can't decide if Joshua's one to talk or if it takes one to know one, but either way, that's kind of a bad sign. "I'll … take that under advisement," he settles on, and at least Joshua accepts that.

"Very well," he says. "Now hurry off before half my reapers spam my phone protesting your erasure," and Joshua snaps his fingers and deposits Neku above one of the couches in the lounge.

Literally _above_ the couch, that fucking asshole, and Neku lands directly on top of a foul-smelling lump. Groooooooss.

" _Who the fuck is line on me?!_ " Pi Face roars, and oh god, this is closer to Pi Face than Neku has ever wanted to be. Ew, ew, ew, ewwwwww.

Neku scrambles off him, and oh god he's _not even wearing a shirt_ , and he was wrong: the Grim Heaper isn't tattooed. That's just grease. Does he even _bathe?!_

"Cat puns, Minamimoto?" one of the reapers drawls. "What depths are you falling to meow?"

Neku stifles a laugh, and he's not the only one. "I said _line_ , not _lion_!" Pi Face squawks. "Can't you people differentiate these things?!"

"It ain't our faults you suck, kitty!" Pinky crows, to general agreement. Oh, reapers.

Neku almost thinks he could get out without them paying an iota of attention to him, but then Pi Face and 777 clap their arms around his shoulders and he's trapped. He's trapped and he's going to die from Pi Face's stench.

"It's Phones!" they proclaim in unison, though 777 winces at the indignity of _agreeing_ with _Pi Face_. "Hey, everybody, say hi to Phones!"

The reapers variously manage the least sincere claps and cheers Neku's ever heard, which is less disturbing than the alternative. This is worse than going _shopping_. Lollipop flashes him a victory sign. "… Hi," Neku says, since they seem to be waiting for something. "I'm still not dead?"

Another round of cheers and clapping, slightly more sincere this time. "Congratulations," Pinky says drily. "Now get the fuck out."

Neku concurs wholeheartedly, and does.


	14. Joshua Remembers the Practical Concerns

Joshua suspects that wasn't entirely necessary, but at this moment, he can't quite bring himself to care. At least Neku seems to be handling himself well with the reapers; they like him, even if most of them'd shoot him the moment it became beneficial. Hopefully he understands that.

What a day. Ending games wasn't his favorite thing even when he only needed to do the clean-up; Sanae pulling that today really is tacky beyond all measure. It doesn't surprise him, exactly, but he is disappointed.

He shoots off a quick text to Kariya while keeping an eye on things, ready to intervene. `Get me a viper drink and a cappuccino, please.`

`Sure thing, boss,` he replies, and Joshua's not sure if he's pleased or disappointed that Kariya won't argue with him about it. Certainly it's more convenient this way, and at least Kariya rolls his eyes when repeating his order to the reaper tending the bar, a shared _why is our boss so lazy_.

Megumi was a very strange man, but not a bad one. By any standard, Joshua should have been _thrilled_ to have a right-hand man who seemed incapable of resentment, insubordination, or even boredom. Much more useful than Kariya spitefully pausing to dump more sugar than can dissolve in his cappuccino before setting the tray in the dumbwaiter where Joshua can grab it.

He wasn't.

Joshua doesn't even like his coffee sweetened, and _still_ Kariya is a more interesting assistant. Kariya for the menial and administrative work; Yashiro for the hands-on; and Joshua himself for anything hard to delegate. More hands-on than any other city composer Joshua knows of would tolerate, but surprisingly effective.

Sanae, Joshua has always known, is not much for surprises.

Neku makes his way out of reaper headquarters without incident and furiously dials into his phone. Joshua picks up right before it'd go to voice mail (not that he _has_ voice mail) and -

" _What the fucking fuck was that for!?_ " Neku yells, and Neku'd probably throw the phone at the wall if that wasn't too horrifying for either of them to contemplate.

Joshua tries and fails to stifle his giggles by drinking coffee. Totally worth it. Neku flips him off, and honestly, you'd think Neku'd appreciate that Joshua can get all these important details over the phone.

"Oh, you know," Joshua says vaguely. "I thought maybe you and the reapers could use a bonding moment."

"Joshuaaa-!" he wails, but seriously now, that was hilarious.

"You know," Joshua continues, "you should probably be grateful that you even _get_ cell service down here." Courtesy of yours truly, of course.

Neku screeches, and it's probably a good thing the sewers and the lounge aren't physically near each other, because wouldn't that be embarrassing? (Joshua locks the door just in case; better not risk it.) Eventually he works off most of his frustrations, and says in a much more reasonable volume, "Joshua, now my clothes are gross from whatever Pi Face -"

"- Minamimoto -" he can't keep himself from correcting; the man thinks highly enough of Neku that Neku should learn his name.

"Fuck you, you know who I meant! - from what he rolled in and I can't go home to shower and all of my _clothes_ are on campus and -" Neku pauses to breathe, and Joshua cuts in. Shit.

"Shh, shh," he soothes, "I can fix it."

"Of course you can," Neku replies tiredly, "but that's the thing, Joshua, you never think of what everyone _else_ has to go through."

Joshua's quiet for a moment. "… sorry," he says, meaning it. He hasn't had to worry about these things for years, and even the reapers who still can get dirty don't need to worry about _doing laundry_ ; living people have it so _complicated_ and he doesn't see how Neku can stand to deal with it. Not when he has the option not to. "I can teach you how to clean your clothes," he starts, but Neku cuts him off.

"That's great, but that's not the point," Neku says flatly, taking a deep breath. "I know you like pranks and being a total jerk, but you seriously need to remember that I? _I am not a reaper!_ "

 _I could fix that,_ Joshua really really wants to quip, but wisely keeps his mouth shut. So not the time for it.

"I'm not as sturdy as you!" Neku continues. "I actually have to live in this world, and a lot of this shit? This shit is not nearly as funny to me. I can actually _get injured_ falling a few feet, Joshua; you need to keep this shit in mind."

"Sorry," Joshua says again, cowed. Neku is _Neku_ and he can't imagine anything mundane like that happening to him, but … he might be right, and either way he _thinks_ that he's right.

"You'd better be," Neku mutters darkly, hunching up and leaning against the wall for a moment before realising that now he has sewer sludge on him in addition to whatever else and gagging exaggeratedly.

Joshua has to mute the phone for a few seconds to keep from laughing at him. Ah, yes, the _what the hell did I just touch_ dance. 9/10; Neku's a natural.

He unmutes it and clears his throat. "Neku," he says quietly, "you're my only friend other than Sanae, and Sanae …."

"… is an even bigger asshole than you are," Neku finishes, even if that's not quite how he'd put it. It's true enough. "Right. So you're bad at this."

"You could say that."

Neku rolls his eyes and snorts. Joshua can't blame him. "Right. Okay. You're sorry; you're not going to do it again; you're going to try harder to remember what I can't do. Are we clear?" Joshua hums an affirmative. "Great. Now get me to your shower _without_ me having to pass all your reapers smelling like a garbage heap."

"Aye aye, captain!" Joshua says, saluting even though Neku can't see it. It'd probably be best to rehook the doorway to the bathroom and shower instead of just teleporting him, wouldn't it …. "One moment," he says, sticking on some restful music for Neku's benefit.

Neku flips him off and mutes the phone. Joshua rebroadcasts it to the sewer itself. Neku sticks on his headphones. Joshua has his media player play it, too, then redirects his attention to the bathroom. Ah. Of course.

`You may want to find somewhere more private for this,` he informs 777, whose hands are currently gently caressing BJ's ass, and is gratified when they hit their heads on a towel rack as they go. What a wanton disregard of public property, and honestly now, they could have at _least_ informed their other band member first. Kids these days.

He throws on a few finishing touches and stops the music. It's only on its second repeat; not bad for herding reapers. "Done," he chirps. "The door'll take you straight there."

"You're lucky I like that band," Neku snarls, and Joshua laughs.

* * *

Joshua doesn't _quite_ twiddle his thumbs while waiting for Neku to clean up, but it's a near thing. Too tired to work on any of his smaller projects; not enough time to properly follow up on his larger ones. Another way Sanae's probably right that he should settle on someone else: it's not done, for a composer to have to mould their schedule around their conductor, and Joshua's painfully aware he can't push Neku without breaking what makes him _useful_.

He attaches his bedroom to the bathroom, just in case, and relocates himself so he can bury his head under his pillows. Not the wisest decision he's ever made - a clever reaper _might_ be able to sneak in looking for a promotion, though it's rather unlikely - but he's hardly ever restored a victor without needing to rest, and without a conductor to lean on ….

Back in the lounge, Yashiro kicks the bathroom door. "Hey, assholes!" she yells. "Some of us actually _use_ that thing!"

Ah, soundproofing. One of his better ideas, if he does say so himself. `I sent those miscreants home, actually,` he texts her, and she pales before she's even checked it. Perhaps he's becoming predictable.

"Sir?" she stage-whispers, apparently unaware of how much attention he pays _within his own home_. "I didn't mean -" she starts, then makes a face. "Wait, does this mean You -"

He glances at the rest of the thought. `If you intend to question the extent of My bodily functions, I suggest you desist.`

She flails her arms and backs up, though she isn't sure where to back up _to_. Clairvoyance sure is convenient that way. "Sorry, Sir -" she manages, but then the inevitable happens:

" _Reaper sport number seventeen!_ " Minamimoto yells, and it isn't truly charades until you try to hit someone with a couch.

He's _so_ glad he planned for the bathroom door breaking down.


End file.
